Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Not for a million bucks!

Today is our 28th anniversary, 25 married. I have never been happier in my life. My honey is funny and always makes me laugh. I opened my card and saw three coupons:

1.  FREE Transportation (Thought we were 
     going on a trip. We did, to the casino.)
2.  FREE lunch (It's two for one Tuesday.)
3.  FREE $ for slot play (Easy come easy go.)

Love, or the lack thereof, makes some people do and say crazy things on Valentine's Day. Let me tell you...

All I have to say is not for a million bucks! I couldn't entertain even the idea! Wouldn't consider it even if it meant I'd get a free beach house, straight teeth, flat gut, and a facelift. No way, huh-uh!

After eating at the two-for-one, casino senior buffet, my sweet love and I split up. he went one way and I went another. I sat down to play the Flintstone's machine. It is an entertaining little one-armed bandit that usually takes my $20, but every now and then it awards 80 cents, or four bucks (and sometimes more) for my 30 cents bets. The graphics are fun, and when Dino (who looks more like a sleeping Barney, the purple dinosaur) in the top left corner wakes up and scampers across the screen to the pay window, I chuckle. Every time. Maybe it's the way he shuffles. Sometimes it's Betty or Wilma, or the Grand Puba, Barney or Fred exciting me with the offer of cash. Today it was a real live character.

I ignore people seated next to me unless they speak first. I figure I don't want to mess with their ju-ju anymore than I want mine messed with. I try not to meet the greeter's eyes when we enter. I hate it when they say, "Good luck."  JINX! There you go!

There was a man to my left and a woman about 40 to my right. The scrappy, slightly built guy in his 60s looked like Charles Manson from the sticks. He tried to engage me in conversation, but I ignored him. Then he flipped open his musty wallet and said, "Look!" As he fanned it near my face, I leaned back and noticed tobacco juice staining his gray wiry beard— only some of it dried and caked. 

He fanned 100 dollar bills in his wallet like a poker dealer shuffling a new deck. "Lookie in here! $1,750. I hit the jackpot, so I can afford to spend a few hundreds today."

I said, "Well you better put that wallet away and quit telling people before someone hits you in the head."

He looked at the gal next to me and said, "Tell her."

She shrugged and said, "He's looking for a woman."

I assume she knew because he had propositioned her, or maybe they were in cahoots.

I shook my head. He laughed and pressed his 30 cent button again. Three lights lit up. He reached over, raised his hand for a high-five from me. He looked at me confused (or maybe offended) when my hand bypassed his. I pounded the three lit up discs on his machine screen and said, "Hey look, a bonus. You have a winner!" I didn't say, "Loser!" as I shoved my chair back and scooted out of there. 

I didn't tell Bill about the guy looking for love in all the wrong places. I don't want him to get jealous.



Sioux said...

Linda--Yeah, Sasquatch will squash him like an ant. However, isn't there some writer lady who's been sniffing around HIM?

Remember, payback is fair...

Bookie said...

Sounds like you had some entertainment for Valentine Day! Ah, my mother always said no fool like old fool...sounds like bearded guy fell into that category!

Val said...

Well...you ARE a weirdo magnet!

Too bad we couldn't hook that guy up with the self-proclaimed homeless lady who was chatting up The Pony at the casino in Norman, Oklahoma on New Year's Eve. One of her first questions being if he was 18.

K9friend said...

Sounds like you had a great Valentine's Day/anniversary despite the "interesting" characters that crossed your path. :-)


Connie said...

Haha! Sounds like you were lucky to leave that "winner" behind.

Susan said...

Hi Linda. Glad you and your honey had fun! I would have run fast from that old goat, too. ha ha ha You meet some characters. Susan

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Congratulations on your anniversary! Glad you enjoyed your celebration. :)