Niagra Falls...so did I

Nik Wallenda tightrope tiptoed across Niagra Falls. I didn't deliberately set out to span a wide body of water, and I didn't have the TV cameras on me. Unlike Nik, my confidence is as bad as my balance and I just knew once I was hovering above the water I'd be taking a dive.

My son and his family were on vacation and he said I could use their above ground pool. My daughter-in-law's twin sister lives next door, and she had the key to the ladder lock, but she was occupied, and rather than wait for her to finish an important phone call, I said, "Nevermind, I'll manage."

I pulled the picinic table over to the side of the pool and yanked a chair up to the table, and climbed up to the rail. I hiked my lard butt over and plopped in. Something about floating with a large rubber ducky made me relax. But I kept smelling an overpowering odor of chlorine. How did I know the ducky held a four inch chunk of solid chlorine? I shoved that duck to the other side of the pool and enjoyed my swim. Okay, float.

My daughter-in-law's young nephew came over and offered me the key. I smiled and said, "It's okay, I'm already in. Thank you."

I didn't think about getting out.  An hour later, I climbed up the ladder, threw my left leg on the railing and did the splits as my right thigh and inside of my upper arm hit the ladder when it shifted and slipped out from under me. I bobbed a time or two, looked around to see who saw, and when I saw no one, I tugged myself out. I yanked the table and chair back into place and pretended I was fine. The ladder is lopsided and the bottom is dislodged. My bones aren't broken and my unsightly bruises will eventually heal.