It's not just what you say. It's how you say it.

In my previous post I asked you to write one sentence to describe an approaching storm. Thank you to those who participated.

Few words or many words... any way you choose to paint your word pictures, remember you're writing for the reader who wants to feel the storm, see what you saw, hear what you heard. They want to experience your experience.

Here are some of my memories of being caught in a summer storms. The beach storm came out of no where. An ebony cloud spilled like grape Kool-aid across the sky as I was walking alone in sugar white sand.  All of the condos looked the same. I was half a mile away from ours. I could not distinguish one from the other, plus I had no cell phone. Thank goodness my honey was on the balcony motioning  for me. I never felt so terrified and alone trudging through sand, trying to "outrun" a storm barreling down.

• My nose twitched with the detection of ozone, as the bruised sky flung palm-size spiked hail at the parched yard.
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• The wind whipped our red bud saplings like half a dozen frenetic ballerinas, and deforested their limbs.
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• The old porch swing chains rattled when the jet-black cloud raced up the street, splintered the wood, and snatched anything not rooted.
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• Thunder bombed, ricocheted my guts; lightning sizzled, and wind whipped beach sand at me like ammunition.
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• The sky unleashed chaos as the summer temperature drastically dropped, causing a steep rise in my blood pressure.
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• Thunderclaps rattled me. Streetlights at noon?! Tornado sirens squealed. Wind vortexed. I ran for my life.

What's your style? Do you prefer one of these sentence structures over the other? 

Often short sentences create more of a dramatic effect and pack a real punch. 

As you can see though, I am a fool for commas.