Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I'll never be a biker babe

I was stopped at the traffic light at Grant’s Trail. I saw a young family engaging in a healthy activity. Mom and dad sandwiched twin bike-riding munchkins. All wore helmets; the five year olds teetered on training wheels. The dad was panting and red in the face, the little boys were royally flushed and complaining; the big bottomed mom’s face was beet red, and I could see that she was questioning her sanity as to why she’d thought it was a good idea to hit the asphalt with beginners and bellyachers and a husband who couldn’t hustle across the cross walk.

I cringed thinking that I should be getting some exercise too. So, I dashed home, searched five rooms, my purse, the junk drawer, the silverware drawer and even the refrigerator for the shed key. Couldn’t find it, tried to remember the combination lock code on the garden box, but none of the fifty combinations I tried worked. I said a few choice words, finally found the key and got the shed open. I gawked at my bike hanging on a hook four feet off the ground alongside the crammed in garden tools, and the jillions of jars of nuts, bolts, screws. My husband organizes his shed as meticulously as Betty Crocker does the spices in her kitchen.

I dragged the step stool out from under the fifty pound bag of fertilizer. Climbed up on the stool, tried to lift the bike off that meat hook, but my left shoulder shouted stop! Even if I’d had the strength to lift the bike up, I couldn’t have found a place to drop it down, as the mower, the blower, the hose stower and the gigantic generator consumed every inch of floor.

I hopped down and locked that shed. I sat my big bottom on the porch swing and pumped my legs until I was hot, sweaty, red in the face and winded. I looked just like that bike riding mama.

12 comments:

Bookie said...

Funny,Linda! Great essay. I could just see you in the shed as I have stood right there myself!

This morning I got up to do exercises at 6. (Started AGAIN this week.) I sat down in the chair first and went right back to sleep without knowing it until 7:30. I did make myself do the one mile version then before DH crawled out to impede my day! :)

Susan said...

Ha! That was cute, Linda. Sincerely, Susan

BECKY said...

Linda, that was hilarious! I really need to get back into my walking and exercising, too. Those 10 pounds I lost last year are slowly (too quickly?) finding me! I'm really aggravated at myself! So, I'm at least in the mood to THINK about it...the real thing will follow soon, I hope!

Linda O'Connell said...

Hi Claudia,
I know exactly what you mean. I am well-intentioned, but my couch has my number. The moment I lie down I'm a goner. Sunday I snoozed at 5 p.m. and woke up at 5 a.m. That darned old couch!

Linda O'Connell said...

Hi Susan,
I had really planned on working out; instead I wore myself out.

Linda O'Connell said...

Becky,
Shoot, I think your ten pounds found ME! I am working out with hand weights as I sit on the couch. Trying to firm my flabby arms. I'll probably build biceps!

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Sounds like you got plenty of exercise running here and there looking for that key! You get points for good intentions. Your story reminded me of when my son was a toddler and we did the bike thing. He always fell asleep buckled up behind his daddy and missed the ride.

Linda O'Connell said...

Aww, Lisa, that is so sweet. I'm lucky to be able to balance myself, let alone a child buckled behind me.

Lynn said...

That was great Linda and your shed sounds like ours - no room! You should send that story in some where.

Cathy C. Hall said...

I'm with Lisa! I always count LOOKING for stuff as exercise. 'Cause that can take awhile (as you know!).

Linda O'Connell said...

Lynn and Cathy, there comes a point when you say, enough. Ha! Thanks for your repsonses.

Tammy said...

What a wonderful little vignette! And sounds very similar to an experience I had…only I gave up at the part where I saw the bike dangling 4 feet off the ground!