Sunday, March 4, 2012

There's a new bag around town

When I really like something, it is hard for me to part with it, even after it is worn out and past its time. I have had shoes that I loved so much, I hot glued the seam. Purses that had threadbare handles. Glasses with one nose pad missing. Oh I eventually tossed them, but it took me a while.

I don't think I'm a hoarder like Tammy, my friend with fifteen pens in her purse. But I did find five in mine today when I switched to a new purse. I spent all afternoon shopping for a new purse, went to
K-Mart and Sears and another big department store, but nothing appealed to me. Walked into a thrift store, and there it was, dangling from a hook, tempting me and taunting in that tawdry voice, which may have been in my head.

Come on sister, flaunt it for once, forget those basic black purses and see what kind of looks you get with me on your shoulder. No! You're wrong. I am not red-red. I am cranberry. Hang me from your shoulder and look in that mirror over there. Ooh-la-la, lady, you know you want me. Hey, don't hang me back up.

Woman, yeah, you with the wrinkles. That black bag makes you look like an old hag. Give me one more chance. Come back here; check out my compartments. That's it, turn me around. That's not just a seam across my backside. Slide you finger down there. That's a cell phone pocket. Yooo-hoo, lady, NOOOOO, don't walk away.

Beige! Bleh! Woman put some zing in your swing, and march right back here! You KNOW you like me. Fine! Go ahead, try on all those old lady purses. I'm waiting ...


I knew you'd be back. Check my stitching, my magnetism, listen to that click when I close. There's a place right in here for your wallet, which happens to be the same color as I am. Pens can go in here, uhm, and dear, do you really need five? They poke. And tissues, Hon, I know you have a cold. A handful of unused is fine, but please don't stuff my cavity with wads of snot-filled Kleenex. I'm too cute for that.

I slipped the handles of that maroon, uhh, I mean cranberry, handbag over my shoulder and I laughed to myself. Perhaps I laughed a little louder than I realized, because the woman next to me, also selecting a hand bag, startled and looked directly at me.

"Did you want this one?" I asked.

WOMAN! Have you heard a thing I've said? With me on your shoulder, you look younger.

I didn't wait for a reply. I walked to the register and bought that saucy sister.

23 comments:

Bouncin Barb said...

I love it!!!! Perfect sized bag and very stylish. When I saw your post title I thought you were talking about me...haha :-)

Joanne said...

I'd have bought such a sassy purse in a heartbeat, too.

Bookie said...

This a good one, Linda! You are going to love this hot bag!

Tammy said...

If I'd been that woman next to you, I'd have fought you for it. Great find! Who knows, maybe I'll start hoarding purses to go with those pens....

Sioux said...

Linda--You made purse-shopping funny as well as almost R-rated in spots. Well done.

Chatty Crone said...

I love that new little saucy number! Sandie

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

Hi Linda -

May you and your cranberry purse live happily ever after. :)

Blessings,
Susan

Debra Mayhew said...

See, this just goes to prove my motto is true: Check the thrift store FIRST. :) So many treasures to find and you can't beat the price. Way to step out of the black purse rut, Linda!

DUTA said...

Lovely post and purchase!
Enjoy your newly bought cranberry pursue!

Kim said...

Oh, now I want to find a sassy new purse, too! Mine is so, well, years ago.

Love the color!

Susan said...

OMG, that was a hilarious post, Linda. You are SO GOOD at describing things.

That saucy little number in cranberry is gonna make you look like one hot Mama! woo hoo

Swing that baby over your shoulder and toss those hips around. They're gonna see you comin a mile away.

Girl, you GO! That little cranberry baby rocks! Susan

Val said...

I must say...it's quite breathtaking. Now all you need is a matching pair of Crocs. Maybe Sioux can hook you up.

Mary Horner said...

My last two purses have been in the "red" family. They go with everything!

jabblog said...

Now you have the perfect excuse to buy clothes to match your super bag. It is very pretty (I like bags!)

Janet Smart said...

Funny! I get most of my favorite things at thrift stores. I think you have missed your calling, you need to check into becoming a humor columnist with the local paper. Or have you already?

irishoma said...

Hi Linda,
Love this post--and your stylish bag. And you can never have enough pens in your purse.
Donna

K9friend said...

My experiences buying purses seem more like torture than sexy fun.

I've been carrying a red purse (well, maybe more a cranberry color) for several months. Love that splash of color, especially on otherwise dreary winter days.

Pat
Critter Alley

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Haha! Great post. I've never had a purse call my name and talk to me, although I can't say the same about shoes. :)

Lynn said...

I think I may have to start having conversations with the things I need to purchase. Maybe that will make shopping more fun.

Jennifer Brown Banks said...

Love the purse. Love the post! Too funny. And that purse is mighty pretty. Mighty pretty indeed. :-)

Dorothy Adamek said...

I love it when the bags have voices! And the shoes, and the dresses.... Fun post :) I enjoyed visiting.

Debora said...

That is indeed a saucy bag...sort of cranberry saucy! I hate it when bags talk to me like that. They're just so hard to ignore!

Karen Lange said...

Oh, I am so with you on this! When you look for a purse, you must find just the right one. Love this cranberry one, and love the story behind it. It has great personality, just like you. And yes, it does make you look pretty and chic.