Monday, March 19, 2012

Butt, I am trying...

My story, The Cookie Chronicles in Chicken Soup Shaping the New You, is available for $4.99 in e-book form. I didn't just shape a new me; I had to SCULPT a new me by the time those Christmas Cookies were gone.

Most of my adult life I weighed 125 pounds, but when I married my honey, we were happy, ate well, and I had a lot less stress in my life. Those twenty "happily married" pounds crept up on my hips and hiney and filled in my mid-region fat cells. Packing peanut butt, thunder thighs, jelly belly. I belittled myself, exercised and ... munched myself fifteen pounds heavier. No more. I am eating right and exercising.

One morning I awoke groggy with my hand on my thigh. I squeezed it, felt it again. Panicked! It was guy-size. Who in the world am I in bed with? Oh NO, not himmmmm! I'm married to Bill now. I startled awake and broke out in a sweat when I realized it was my own leg. Thank goodness Bill was working night shift. He'd have heard this woman panting breathlessly and taken it all wrong.

It is about time I do something about my hippo hiney, jelly belly and thunder thighs. I am determined to loose ten pounds of packing peanuts by July 1st. I have lost two pounds in two weeks. Bill has lost 27 pounds in 12 weeks.

I have to get in shape for shorts, or else it will be capris all summer.
I wish I could tell you that my gams are gorgeous, but to be honest, they're more like a couple of Easter hams on stilts.

Butt, I am still trying!

***
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Chicken Soup for the Soul: My Dog's Life
Chicken Soup for the Soul: Runners
Chicken Soup for the Soul: Shaping the New You
Chicken Soup for the Soul: Teens Talk High School
Chicken Soup for the Soul: Teens Talk Middle School
Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think Positive
Chicken Soup for the Soul: True Love

10 comments:

Lynn said...

Good grief, I can relate! LOL. At least you have until July 1st. I'm shooting for mid-May. Guess I could dust off that black contraption with pedals... actually use it. YAY for you with your e-Chicky soup books.

BECKY said...

Oh, yeah....what is it with those extra pounds that just jump onto our bodies like magnets?? I am SO glad that Vern loves to go for walks, because if it wasn't for him, I'd probably weigh more!

jabblog said...

Good for you! My incentive is my youngest daughter's wedding on 21st July . . .

Joanne said...

It should be illegal for men to be able to lose weight so easily. First degree criminal.

Cathy C. Hall said...

Now, Linda, I have met you, live and in the flesh, and you look nice and healthy to me. Once you go trying to lose weight, pounds will drip off your face and arms and then what? You won't be nearly as lovely as you are now.

Just my humble opinion (and what I tell myself every morning when I get out the shower).

K9friend said...

You echo my sentiments exactly. Why is is so easy to pack on pounds...and so impossible to pare them off?

Pat
Critter Alley

Tammy said...

"Easter hams on stilts." LOLOL!!! And I'm laughing WITH you, not at you.

Your friend,
Over-Sized, Freshly-Plucked-Turkey-Legs-Tam

Susan said...

Hi Linda...I think you look GREAT----not a bit fat. Not a bit. Sometimes I think we are our own worst critics. But that's great you lost two pounds. That's a LOT.I always think of two pounds of Land of Lakes butter (eight stick all together! ha)

Take care. Susan

Debora said...

Shorts are over-rated anyway. I love capris! But I wish you well on your journey toward shorts!

Val said...

Betrayed by Christmas Cookies! I'm sure they were calling your name, too. Those dirty tricksters.