I need to tell someone.
I couldn't believe my eyes when I clicked on the
computer this morning at 5:00 and read,
Dear Mr. O,
Your order for sanitary lubricant
has been shipped from Amazon.
Your order for sanitary lubricant
has been shipped from Amazon.
I read and reread. I researched the product: non
toxic, edible, petrol lube that could also be used on dairy cows. What the heck? I was flustered and my mind was spinning all sorts
of possibilities. My imagination was running rampant and my pulse was keeping pace.
It was all I could do to wait for hubby to wake up.
Cheerful as ever, he walked into the study and said,
"Good morning."
I looked him in the eye and said, "Is there
something you want to tell me? Or that I need to know?"
"I love you?"
"No!"
"I'll throw the laundry in?"
"What did you order personal lubricant for?" My words came out thick as molasses.
He looked at me speechless and dumbfounded.
"Well?"
Hesitantly he said, "Umm, (never a good sign!)
for the meat slicer I bought at Sears yesterday. The drive gear, pivot points and
blade have to be lubricated before using it. The brochure said to use Vaseline,
but when I went to Wal-Mart and read the label, it said, This product is not to
be used orally.""Well?"
I exhaled deeply and laughed out loud when he told me he'd asked the paharmacist if they carried edible Vaseline behind the counter. Let me just
say that my facial expression probably didn't compare to the pharmacist's.
The
guy just looked at him. When hubby explained the intended use, the guy referred
him to Amazon.
Whew! It's heck to have a writer's mind.
21 comments:
That was so cute - I can imagine that happening. My mind has been known to run away at times too!
Linda, I'm dying over here! ... This is the funniest thing I've seen in ages.
Ah, the joys of having a communal e-mail account!
Linda-
Bill--with carefully chosen steps, avoided stepping in a pile of...well, a pile of edible vaseline.
You two are a chuckle (or more) every day.
ha ha ha ha ha That was a funny one! Poor Bill. Susan
Such an innovator! So selfless, to go to such lengths to protect the people who will be eating his meat.
Yep, I agree with Val! Bill is definitely a riot!! :)
Love it! There's a market out there for oral Vaseline!!
So - you passed on the offer to throw the laundry in? Boy, talk about being shaken to the core. LOL Great story!
Hahahahaha! I don't know what's funnier--you, reading that Amazon order or hubby asking about edible Vaseline.
Hahahahahaa! See? I can't choose.HA!
With my husband, the options could have been endless as to why he might have needed that. I usually don't even try to guess. Have a great week! :O)
Thanks for the big laugh today - though The Boy keeps asking me what I'm laughing about (and I'm not about to tell him).
oh my. I am laughing. I can just see your face at the beginning.
I bet we all know what you were thinking. Ha,ha.
Thanks for ticking blog.
Thumbs up!
Hi Linda. This was SO funny. I can imagine the thoughts that raced through your mind when your read that e mail! I shouldn't go into that Pharmicist for a while If I were you!!
Positively hilarious! Gotta appreciate the concern the man has for everyone's, um, health!
It's great to find a product that has such a multitude of purposes!
Pat
Critter Alley
Your husband is delightful.
And dang good blog fodder. :-)
Pearl
He read the label on the vaseline!!
I want to know what the pharmacist said when he asked for edible vaseline .......
Hilarious.
Oh, the look on the pharmacist's face had to be priceless. Hahaha...
Does this come under the heading of, "unapproved uses?"
LOL!
Oh, Linda. I'm so glad I read this first thing in the morning! I have now had a thorough laughter workout. That dialogue is absolutely priceless!
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