Hollywood Debut

I am not going to admit to anything, but I'm not going to deny it, because I realize those bubble cameras capture images in the public areas, but not the public restrooms. It may have been me, or it may have been my Hollywood stunt double (in case they rewind the film for viewing.)

It had been a long time since we'd been to Harrah's Casino, way out yonder, almost at the shrinking, river's edge. But when we received notice that along with a name change to Hollywood Casino, they were offering an evening buffet for $7.77 on Monday, we decided to take twenty recreational bucks a piece and take advantage of Hollywood before Hollywood took advantage of us.

"Better leave early," he-who-lies-about-how-much-he-spends said, exercising his pointer finger which depresses the thirty cent buttons on the so-called penny machines.

I was all for waiting another hour before leaving, because I knew after fifteen minutes, my twenty would be history and where to sit and wait would be a mystery. As it turned out, I sat at one machine for an hour and tripled my twenty, and you-know-who had his chin on his chest and his mouth salivating for dinner when he found me.

At 4:00 the buffet line started swelling like my bladder. The bathroom was waaaay down the hall and I knew I could hold it until we got upstairs to the restaurant/bathroom.

So, we joined the throng, and oh my, there are some colorful characters who wait in line for an hour for food. The babe in front of us had bleach blonde long hair, and she wore a fake fur coat, knee high boots and a thigh-high dress. I could hear her conversation as she spoke to the young man in front of her.

"I earn more out here in the hall than inside the casino." I leaned in to listen. "My husband also won a thousand out here playing the life-size Monopoly game. And my name was chosen as a winner of a thousand another time. Oh! Here he comes now."

This cute strut-his-stuff cowboy about thirty years old, walked towards us with his father. The old dude slipped under the velvet rope and snuggled up to the other $1,000 winner. The dude kept walking. When the $1,000 couple decided to sit down on a bench to the right of us, rather than stand for another twenty-five minutes, I nearly swallowed my tongue. This babe, with bright red painted Mick Jagger-like lips (Carol Channing for the older readers) was no babe. She was at least seventy. And when she sat down, she exposed a little more thigh than is needed for the younger guys' eyes. She was the talk of the line...until I had to go to the bathroom.

I KNOW absolutely for a fact that the ladies john has always been on the left side, and the mens room to the right. I clomped right in and wondered why there was a man standing at a URINAL???  Thank God he had his back to me. He cast a wary eye over his shoulder and I bolted back down that long hall, head down, to the food line and shifted foot-to-foot. Exercising, that's what I was doing. Yeah, exercising. Worked up a little blush/flush.

Now that I think about it, maybe it's Lumiere Casino where the ladies room is on the left and the mens room on the right. Oh gee whiz!