Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Farewell

No mother should have to bury her son. This evening we attended a visitation followed by the funeral of my friend's 38 year old son who took his own life. There were so many questions and no answers. So much pain for his parents, brother, ex wife, children and loved ones. Yet there was a certain amount of joy, as family and friends gathered to celebrate his life. They shared anecdotes, and they also shared stories about the photos on display. The pastor talked about how this young man had come to accept God. He spoke about how easy it is to cast blame, but that no one sitting in that room was perfect. How true.

There wasn't a dry eye in the place when my friend walked to the pulpit and turned her back to the visitors then turned to face her boy. She read him a poem. Her love, her pain, touched each of us, especially the mothers in that room.

There is so much guilt associated with suicide, and it is much more prevalent than one would think. In our pew alone, four people had dealt with the issue in their own families.

This is the 3rd suicide in a month for us. It really leaves a gaping hole in the heart.

Suicide is one of those embarrassments no one talks about. Then once the truth comes out, there is a bond that unites. My friend will most likely join a support group. I ask for prayers for Gerri whose son will be cremated tomorrow. The service was beautiful!

 

14 comments:

Daisy said...

Oh my. So sad to hear this. Prayers here for your friend, Linda.

Merlesworld said...

When someone takes their own life there are always questions with no answers but it's so sad, my heart go out to your friend.
Merle..........

River said...

Suicide is such a sad, sad thing. If only the person could talk about their troubles and get help instead.
My son's partner has had two family members die this way, her brother-in-law, then a year later her sister. They left behind a child who now lives with another sister and has been in counselling for a couple of years now.

BECKY said...

So sad. I really have no other words than what you've already written, Linda. Prayers for everyone.

Janet, said...

This is so sad. My thoughts and prayers are with the family.

Theresa Sanders said...

Oh, Linda. So sad. Prayers for your friend and her family.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Having gone through this myself, my heart aches for your friend. Death is so final. Those left behind will always have questions and so many words unspoken. Time does heal, but she will need help to keep from picking at the scar and opening up the hurt.
My son comes to me in dreams sometimes and I will lay there after I wake, trying to recapture the dream. I find myself thinking of him at the oddest times. It has been 5 years and it is easier now. I tend to remember him as a child and I can smile. He was 39 when he died.

Susan Sundwall said...

A dear friend lost a grandson a year ago. Perhaps it was accidental, but we'll never know. He was just 21. Sharing our stories about this awful thing is like a balm, though. May God comfort your friend, and you, Linda.

Bookie said...

Death is sad and suicide ratchets up the pain. Seems like a real rash of sorrow to deal with in your area.

Lisa Claro said...

My heart aches for those so driven to take their own lives and for the loved ones left behind to sort out the questions. It seems there are rarely any answers. My thoughts and prayers are with your friends, and with you.

K9friend said...

Such a heartbreaking event is truly beyond words. My heart goes out to your friend, her family, and friends.

Pat
Critter Alley

Sioux said...

Linda--Suicide leaves so many unanswered questions, and so much guilt.

I will be thinking of your friends.

Theresa Wrablik said...

I was there and yes not a dry eye: Gerri was so strong and althought she doesn't know it the healing started the moment she read that poem--prayers and love go out to my friend

Tammy said...

Oh, Linda. I'm so sorry. Prayers for all involved.