Saturday, July 5, 2014

He was in command, but she is in (or out) of control

So who knew that a GPS has only so much memory? Hubby found out the hard way when he went to update his Garmin. He ended up having to buy a new one. He decided to buy a voice-activated system. He's a gadget man, and he loves anything technologically challenging, the more functions and buttons on the device the better.

We had to go to the grocery store, and so he decided to give his GalPalSweetie a trial run. He spoke distinctly.

"Activate voice control." I looked at the expression on his face; I'm sure he thought he was at command central of a Star Wars craft.

The gal said, "State a command."

He said, "Goodwill store." (It was a mile away)

She said, "State a command."

He said, "I did."

She said, "Do you want to find a location? Say, 'Find a location.' "

He said, "Find Goodwill Store, then."

She said, "Did you say, "Goodwin Store Diamonds?"

He: "NO, I said Goooood Will."

She: "Did you want Goo Foo Will?

He and she went back and forth about six more times, and finally he looked at me and said, "Stop laughing, you're messing her up!"

Then he tried again: "HOME!"

She said, "Home food will?"

My mild-mannered, soft-spoken husband blew his lid. His blood pressure was boiling, and he shouted an expleteive, "Dumb f**kin' thing!"

She said demurely, "Do you want Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

OMG! I laughed until I cried and wet my pants.

He'll get her in line, but not with me in the car, because as you know, it is all MY fault she can't find the Goodwill Store or even direct us home.


Sioux said...

I think you need to have Bill give it directions, and then go to wherever it sends the two of you...What an adventure that would be.

Hilarious. This should be a story you submit somewhere. It's that funny and that true.

Val said...

I am shocked that Kentucky Fried Chicken did not choose that as their new name instead of KFC.

Mevely317 said...

Bill's 'Gal' must be a relative of the so-and-so who lives in my smart phone.
This is the best laugh I've enjoyed in ages!

Daisy said...

Ahahaha! This is hilarious! :D

Chicken said...

That's hilarious. I personally love the accusing tone in her voice when, after you've missed a turn, she says, "Racalculating". I understand his distress, though. I feel the same way when I'm trying to get through to my cable/internet/phone company. It often ends with me yelling into the phone, "Can I please just speak to a real F*#@ing. person. I know. I'm not proud of myself, either. But I'm sure it's not the first time they've heard that.

Kim said...

Very funny! I'm glad my GPS doesn't talk to me, though I often talk back to it. Mine's too old to update, so it can never find places that didn't exist five years ago.

When I originally set it up, I picked the male voice on the accompanying CD (labeled as Tom). Just what I need - another Tom telling me what to do.

Jerri said...

Oh my gosh, that is so funny!

BECKY said...

I can just see you two as this all unfolded! But, Bill cussing?? THAT I'd like to see...and hear! Hopefully, these kind of "intelligent techie gadgets" will improve quickly. How long have they been around now?? Geez, they should be perfect by now. And I'm like the commenter, Chicken, above...I've yelled into my phone numerous times when speaking to the woman robot at Charter. AND, she always gets a tone in her voice when she finally allows me to speak to a person!!!

River said...

He'll get her in line?

Tammy said...

Speaking of laughing till you cried and wet your pants....

Lisa Claro said...

Uh-Oh. I think blogger swallowed my original comment.

This is hilarious. I'll be chuckling over this story all day. Thanks for sharing with us.

K9friend said...

I've had a few interesting go rounds with Siri myself. She can sometimes be more than a little snippy.

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