Thursday, August 21, 2014

This too shall pass

"I love him, Nana, but I don't always like him."
Horrified by those words? I shared this info with two new moms. One gasped and said, "Really?! Oh I don't feel so bad, now. I sang mine to sleep last night with this song, 'If you don't stop crying I'm going to put you in box, put you in a box, put you in a box.' And then my husband came in and said he was calling the doctor for ME. I told him not to listen to me. I am just getting my frustration out."
New mom #2 said nobody prepared her for the realities of motherhood. "It doesn't get better, it just gets different."
I think we need a mandatory support group for new moms who are sleep deprived, nerves on edge and feel like THEY are doing something wrong, or the baby loves everyone BUT them.
I've heard it all...remember I have taught preK for 38 years.
 When I share my personal "dark" lullabies, (YES, I sang them, too) it is like a relief washes over these new mamas. Someone identifies and understands. Some old gal in an authority position who has been there and isn't judging them. 
                                                      Party Tonight...My Crib B.Y.O.B.
This little doll face is pleasant during the day and screams when he is with mommy and daddy at night. No matter how many bottles, burps, bounces, cuddles; he rages for two hours. It is not pleasant coming home to constant painful colicky screams. Ashley and Justin feel helpless, they know he hurts, and there is nothing that helps, not the gas drops, nothing.  My granddaughter feels like she is  in a never-ending moment. She breast fed for two months, then doctor prescribed very expensive formula that allows the protein to break down into smaller particles. 
Liam goes to the doctor on Monday for his shots and thorough exam. That should add to the distress! But doctor still thinks it's colic and says in another month it should pass. I sure hope so. Some nights his parents want to return him :)  By morning they are cooing to him. I keep saying, "Right now he's more job than joy."

This is one of my favorite pictures, the two Williams meeting face to face, eyeballing one another.
"This too shall pass." My mentor, an 80 year old educator, said this to me often. I know it is true, because Liam's mommy cried with colic for two months, two hours each night. Her mom, my mom and I walked the floor with her.


Sioux said...

Darling photos--all three. (The first one could be enlarged and framed--what a beautiful mama Ashley is! The second one shoes what a doll baby Liam is. And Bill and little Liam--it's a mutual love affair, obviously.)

Thanks for sharing the pictures. And I will send good thoughts towards Justin and Ashely...hoping things get better sooner rather than later.

Kim said...

New parenthood sucks sometimes. With the oldest, she and I cried together those nights she wouldn't sleep. I thought I'd never figure it out. But it gets better, a little at a time. Swaddling seemed to help (or at least it kept her arms from flailing).

Val said...

My oldest was a challenge. He had a will of iron. The second was an angel. Sixteen years later...they're still the same temperament.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

One of my friends is a new mom. I should send this blog post to her :)

Susan said...

Oh gosh, Linda. A colicky baby is NO FUN. Poor little Liam, poor Mama, poor Papa, poor Grammie.

I use "This, too, shall pass" daily in my own life. Good advice. Susan

Daisy said...

My first son was such a colicky baby too. You are right, it will eventually pass, but it is exhausting while going through it. I hope things improve soon.

K9friend said...

It will get better eventually, though I know that's small comfort now. My son had colic and cried all the time. I was exhausted and ready to tear my hair out. Nothing seemed to help him. Getting breaks from baby periodically where you actually get to leave the house (Grandparents, aunts, and uncles are great babysitters) will give Mama the time she needs to decompress.

Critter Alley

Shelly said...

Precious, darling baby! You should do a book of advice for young moms. This would be a great tip for that~

River said...

Colic that doesn't pass quickly needs closer examination in my opinion. Perhaps he has a milk allergy. My grand daughter was the same, crying (screaming) each evening until one day my daughter broke down and cried. I had no idea what might be wrong, none of mine were colicky at all, but her mum-in-law suggested a milk allergy, because both her sons had allergies. Grand daughter was put on soy milk immediately and the change was immediate and dramatic. No more screaming, just peaceful feeds and happy smiles. said...

oh I see the young one. So sweet. Silly me. Should of scrolled down.

I laughed at your hubby. Have to get it looked after. Ha-ha. You fooled him.

Cathy C. Hall said...

My daughter was a day angel and a night devil. Lord, she cried ALL night--there were times I think I just cried along with her.

But yes, it passed. One way or another, it shall pass. ;-)