Monday, September 1, 2014

She was only trying to help...or bite your tongue, lady!

Experts can be wrong. We attended a 45th wedding anniversary yesterday for Pat and Phil, a couple I went to high school with.
Back in the day, we had a wonderful school counselor,  Marian Mabuce, a pretty, older, white haired woman who really did mean well. She called Pat to the office in 1967 and told her she was making a mistake by dating Phil, and she advised her not to marry him after graduation.

"You could marry a doctor or lawyer, anyone. You're so smart and beautiful. You should marry someone who can provide well for you: beautiful clothes and cars, anything you want. Phil has nothing to offer."




Phil used to have red hair, now he has a Brock-a-brella for his chrome dome, thanks to Bill.
47 years later, after what Pat jokingly refers to as "45 freaking years of marriage" she asked, "What were we thinking, Phil?"

He said, "I can't remember what I thought yesterday, and you want me to remember that long ago?"

I glued the yearbook picture of our counselor in their anniversary card with her "words of wisdom", and included some of my own: Phil runs with the wrong crowd. Then, I glued the yearbook pictures of Phil's best buddies below it. They got a big laugh out of seeing themselves at 17. As they sat around and rehashed their escapades, I realized, not much has really changed in all those years.

Boys will always be boys. Phil still rides a motorcycle like a bat out of hell, plays a guitar like a ringin' a bell, and for his family, he has always provided well. They have two beautiful and successful adult children. Pat is an acclaimed artist in her own right, and she was a para teacher for years. They are both retired and enjoying life. Wishing them all the best.

After listening to those 55-65 year old guys outside shooting the bull, and after talking with all of their sensible and fun loving wives and partners inside the air conditioned house, I came to my own conclusion.

I think women grow up and men grow older :) What do you think?
 

18 comments:

Alice said...

Amen Sista! Our family uses the phrase, "The only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys!

Sioux said...

I will echo Alice's amen.

Robin Williams said, "God made man with a brain and a penis, but the blood can only go to one place at a time."

Too often, the blood supply is headed south. And when their brain IS engaged and working, it's often fixated on childlike things.

It sounds like it was a fun party.

Cathy C. Hall said...

Gosh, it's hard to believe that a counselor would be that nervy, but I didn't go to a high school with counselors so what do I know?

Sometimes I look at Mr. Man and wonder how old he is. Though honestly, I don't wonder it to myself. ("Seriously, Dave, how old ARE you????" Hahahaa!)

sparkle100-havealook.blogspot.com said...

That was good.

Sounds all had a great day!

Shelly said...

Ha! So true. I love that their love defied what "wise" people thought...

Daisy said...

What a sweet story! Apparently those wise words weren't so wise.

Val said...

I am more outraged that the counselor thought the only thing Pat had going for her future was marriage. That being so "smart and beautiful" was only good for catching a man who could provide her with beautiful clothes and cars.

Friko said...

I think women are born grown-up and men never do.

Merlesworld said...

You are right men never grow up completely , there are always little boys in there somewhere.
Women have children and realise that their worlds must be stable that makes us grow up quicker than anything else.
Merle..........

Bookie said...

I have to give the couselor points for seeing something in a talented girl and trying to urge her forward when in 1967 most of them wanted girls to just be good seconds to their men. But that aside...second guessing is often wrong. I am glad it worked for them.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

What that counselor failed to take into account is that a heart that loves is beyond rich :-)

Lynn said...

Just confirms, never give unwanted advice... only when asked (and then you need to think about it for yourself).
I must say I do know some women who haven't grown up and some men who have, so...

Lisa Claro said...

Everyone thought my husband and I were nuts, too, because we were so young (18 and 20 when we got engaged, 19 and 21 when we married). 34 happy years later we're glad we followed our hearts. And yes, I agree with you. Women grow up, men grow older. They sure are cute, though. :)

Tammy said...

Amen to what Val said. I thought the same thing. I think she must've made the right choices after all, though, if they're still happy after 45 years. Sounds like your card was a hoot!

K9friend said...

We grew up in a different time, that's for sure. You'd never hear a counselor advising a girl to get married so she could have a good life now (I hope).

When you talk about Pat and Phil, I always do a double take. My hubby's name is Phil, too!

Pat
Critter Alley

Chicken said...

I don't know, but they sure did something right:-) Congratulations to them.

Susan said...

Happy for your friends, Linda. Guess the counselor meant well but gave the wrong advice.

Hope your Labor Day was laborless! Take care and Linda, thanks for all your sweet visits. Susan
P.S. I need to do the interview with you, now that I'm back from Colorado.

aleian said...

We grew up in a different time, that's for sure. You'd never hear a counselor advising a girl to get married so she could have a good life now (I hope)