Monday, October 20, 2014

It was no masked man

 
Damn Sam! I held my breath and tried not to move a muscle at 3:30 a.m. when I heard an intruder in the bedroom poking around in my jewelry on the dresser. He who snores loud enough to wake the dead was silent and on the far edge of the queen size bed. I wanted to reach over and poke him to see if he was breathing, but I knew he'd be all goofy upon waking: HUH?WHAT? and probably get us shot. I lay quietly in the pitch dark as the robber rummaged, making his selection. My heart was thumping wildly, and I had to pee so badly. And then I saw him. He thumped all 17 pounds of his fat butt down with a thunk, dragging a necklace across the floor and set off the bathroom motion-activated night light.
 
Fifteen minutes after his reprimand he assumed this position and snored worse than you know who.
"Yeah!" I said, "Sleep you goofball, now that I'm wide awake."

8 comments:

Bookie said...

So funny this morning but not for you about mid=afternoon when the sleepies hit. You might have to let him sleep between you and Bill so you know where he is. Hope Monday is good for you today.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

LOL this made me laugh so much. Cats are responsible for many a nighttime scare :)

Sioux said...

...and that feline can take as many cat-naps as he wants during the day (so can Bill).

Karen Lange said...

So glad it wasn't a real intruder! You had me going there for a moment. Have a great week!

Mevely317 said...

My heart-rate was right up there, Linda. I'm thinking it's a good thing you didn't have a taser at the ready!

This reminds me of an earlier post you did about the shower curtain?
Love your imagination, girl! :)

Susan said...

That was a great story, Linda. Hope you'll be submitting it somewhere. Susan

Val said...

That cat could be a model. A model for those plush pillows with a zipper on the belly so kids can keep their pajamas in them.

Daisy said...

Oh no! It was a cat burglar! ;) Great story, Linda.