Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Cruisers, losers and doozers

    On a whim we booked a last minute vacation. We tried to rent a friend's condo in Florida but it was not available. I made a phone call. There were only two rooms left so we chose the one on the second  floor. We drove to New Orleans to board the Carnival Dream cruise ship, a floating monster of the sea with 5,000 passengers on board...one third of which were children on spring break seeking a good time.

There were many educators and school nurses and office employees also on spring break. It was like living in a germ-filled school with a bunch of snot nosed, hacking, grubby-handed, whiny little preschool kids. Then there were the school-age monsters who ran rampant and unattended up and down the halls in packs, mowing down elders and rapping on doors like Wee Willy Winky, except not in nightgowns, because none of the little buggers slept.

They overflowed the self serve soft ice cream machines, wasted enough food to feed a third world nation, and ran their mitts over every single elevator button for the fun of it. The little darlings raced one another in six GLASS elevators up and down a dozen floors, on display, doing their thing for all to see. Where were their parents? On vacation, by the pool, being entertained, sipping suds and fancy drinks out of carved coconut heads.

One of the employees said he reprimanded a boy who was pressing elevator buttons. Later in the day he saw the kid with his mom and asked, "Is this your son?" She copped an attitude and said, "Yeah, what's it to YOU!"

He replied, "I just wanted to tell you that your son apologized when I talked to him about pressing all the elevator buttons."

She gave him a dirty look and before she could speak, he said, "Please tell his STEP MOM thank you, because someone obviously taught him manners."

PERFECT! There is so little accountability anymore.

Two weeks before we left, hubby had a cold which went into bronchitis. He completed his antibiotics and seemed much better. He was cleared to travel.

The germ capital of the seas led to another upper respiratory infection (or a relapse) on the fourth day. In a closet-size cabin with limited TV channels, I was able to hear half of Judge Judy's admonitions and only a portion of CNNs repeating news, because there was a barking seal in my bed.

We WERE able to kick back on a couple of beaches in the Grand Caymen Island and also in Cozumel, Mexico. The Caribbean Sea is the most awesome turqouise blue water you will ever see. The trade winds and salt water soothed my soul, if only briefly. I left my honey reclining in a beach chair, and I left my footprints in the sand as I strolled for miles.

I drove ALL the way home and right to the doctor, where hubby was diagnosed with pneumonia. This new stronger antibiotic is kicking the heck out of it. Thank God. 


Now the worst news of all, during the last night of constant interrupted sleep I forgot that I hadn't brushed my teeth, so I got up to do so. In the morning I screamed when I saw my toothbrush in its holder.

I had used hubby's by mistake. ARGH! I have a strong immune system from having been exposed to every virus known to kids for all these years. Two liters of Listerine later, I have no more than a slight sore throat. My lymph nodes are doing their work.  

All I can say is, never again on spring break! Oh yeah, that's right...after June 19th, I won't have any more spring breaks. I'm retiring, throwing in the towel, grabbing a beach towel and heading for sand and surf...
                when the rug rats are all back in school.







12 comments:

Sioux said...

Too bad you couldn't let Bill infect all those young hooligans. That way, the nonparenting parents could have had their own barking seals to serenade them at night.

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Your story reminded me of my son's, in reverse. He and his new bride took a cruise for their honeymoon. Where yours was overrun with children, theirs was overrun with retired couples. lol Joey and Ashley were the youngest couple on the ship (she was 28 he was 32), the next in age being in their late 50s/early 60s. They still had fun, but plan to be sure the next cruise they take is more in line with their own age group. They said the whole ship shut down after 10 pm. Everyone turned in for the night. Haha.

Val said...

The cruise from not-heaven indeed! You go on vacation to get away from elements of your work, and there are the elements from work on your vacation!

Gerry Mandel said...

Amazing how you find humor in the ugliest of circumstances, Linda. I love the details of the rug rats running loose on the ship. Great scenario for a horror movie; all we need is Freddy Krueger from "Nightmare..." to star as the hero. My wife is currently hovering between bronchitis and pneumonia, but I won't send her on a cruise, that's for sure. I hope Bill has recovered. Your toothbrush bit is like the last scene in a movie when you think it's over and everyone is safe, and then, all of a sudden.....

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Only once did I go on a cruise. My sister and a friend of hers were planning to go with another friend. That friend cancelled and my sister convinced me to come in her place. Her friend that did go snored so loud I was surprised the adjoining cabins did not complain. Never again!

Lynn said...

And yet another reason why I prefer not to go on a cruise. :-) Hope Bill is recovering and that you don't get anything more!

Bookie said...

I've thought about your trip all day and how disappointing it must have been! It was hard even to just read about it. Yes, and I hope hubby is better for good now...hard to go through anytime but on a holiday trip! How many times we tell ourselves that it will get better...someday it will! :)

Dianna Graveman said...

Wow, Linda! Sorry all that happened! I hope you were able to enjoy a little bit of your trip.

K9friend said...

Even with the trials, a beach vacation sounds delightful. Congrats on retiring! I'm not far behind you. My last day is in early August. I am counting the minutes.

Pat
Critter Alley

Mevely317 said...

I'm so sorry your plans were nearly ruined by all those ill-behaved kids! Where do these people come from, I wonder?
Love that cruise member's zinger about the 'STEP' mom teaching the kid some manners.
Based on your story - and others' - I will NEVER cruise on a Carnival ship.

Daisy said...

Oh my gosh, I'm sorry to hear of all the troubles you had. At least you got to enjoy the beach a little bit. Glad to hear the medicine is working for your hubby.

Tammy said...

So glad to hear hubby is better and you both enjoyed your trip a bit in spite of it all! Obviously all of that plague didn't hurt your sense of humor any. I'm still laughing at those non-sleeping Wee Willy Winkies!