Monday, June 15, 2015

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

I try not to be judgmental. I am liberal-minded about what others do, as long as they don't offend me or my family. I know I am going to sound like an old fuddy-duddy,  but here goes.

We went to the pool this weekend, and I was flabbergasted at the flabby young and old bodies in bikinis. Nobody is body conscious or modest anymore. Two young women were nine months pregnant wearing barley-there bikinis, and many others merely looked nine months pregnant.

I am not prejudiced against overweight people; I am one. I am amazed that so many people want to expose as much skin as possible. I felt a little embarrassed in my suit with blousy top and little skirt.

There were women over fifty with blue hair, and I'm not talking sweet little blue haired ladies. These gals had Kool-Aid dyed hair like the kids wear. Then I swore Ariel the mermaid was surfacing when an old granny with bright red Kool-aid hair came up for air. My head was swiveling this way and that, taking in the unbelievable sights.

Ninety percent of the swimmers (preteen to senior citizen) had tattoos. I'm used to seeing an anchor or the word MOM inked onto an old sailor's arm. I don't object to artful expressions of color on other people's bodies. It's their choice to use it as a billboard, to wear a sleeve or mark it up as a means of self-expression.

Personally, I don't need permanent ink to announce my affiliations, beliefs or In Memoriams. But obviously I am behind the times. Some people had quotes, Bible verses, or inspirational messages scripted on their arms, legs, chests, backs, behinds. Some appeared to have tombstone names and dates. Birth/death? I don't know.

One guy had an entire PARAGRAPH on his chest. A young woman had her thigh covered in her philosophy. I read this on a young man with a group of rabble rousers: "I'd rather live everyday like a man than die one day like a coward." I can't attribute the quote because he didn't, so I can only assume those were his thoughts.

When he started using foul language, MFing this and that, I wanted to remind him that a man has respect for young children at a public pool. But I became so fascinated with the twining vine with turquoise blue morning glories spreading ALL over every exposed inch of skin on an older woman's body I forgot about the bad boy.

There were ink logos of US military branches of service spread across male backs, and also foreign service insignias on chests. Maybe this is the new form of bumper stickers...and yes, some people had remarks on their bumpers too.

I wonder, do you think police officers have to draw reproductions of these tats on incident reports? I imagine there are far less reports these day with this comment: No Identifying permanent marks on body.

I might as well accept the fact that future professionals, politicians, private and public figures will be walking around as a sandwich board. Don't know what that is? Look it up.

Now don't get me started on the girl with quarter sized holes in her ear lobes and purple discs inserted. I know there is term for them, but I just call it nuts! 

 

11 comments:

Cathy C. Hall said...

Hahahahaa! Oh, Linda, I'm at the beach this week and I'm telling you, that's some prime people-watching!(But it takes a lot to get my attention these days--I'm not sure if that's good or bad...:-)

Weekend-Windup said...

I never mind about others. I be in my way. I dress up so that it does not irritate others eyes...

Merlesworld said...

We might be old fuddies but I agree with you, tats that look good on a young body might not on the older one when you have a few folds in the skin and a few extra kilos, and very few look good in a tiny bikinis.
I wear a teeshirt over my swimmers, I think it's the only way to go.
Merle..................

Sioux said...

Linda--I wish the old-fashioned swimsuits came back in style. They looked more like a dress, which is what I need.

Daisy said...

I'm like you and feel self-conscious in a suit with a blousy top and a skirt. You never know what you will see at the beach or the pool these days.

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

I was never one for a bikini. I was skinny enough, but I never had enough boobage to hold up the little tops. These days it's either a tankini (two piece that covers everything) or a one piece (which is more figure flattering than either a bikini or a tankini). As to the tat, well...you know I got one with my daughters last year, to fulfill a promise. It will be my one & only. My daughters, on the other hand, have several. Have to wonder if they'll regret them, one day.

Val said...

Somewhere out there is a blog post about a lady with normal-sized earlobes wearing a skirted bathing suit, with human-hair-colored hair, and skin like a blank slate...

Susan said...

Wowsers, Linda. I don't see that much at our small town beaches. That was quite an eyeful. Susan

Jennifer Brown Banks said...

Amen, Lin!

Janet, said...

Oh my. I so agree with you. I don't go to swimming pools, now I am glad that I don't.

Tammy said...

This made me laugh. Sounds like there's no shortage of reading material out there! You reminded me of something my sister told me years ago about a friend who got a tattoo of the universe on her buttocks. Let's just say over the years, the universe expanded. I can't think of anything I'd want to wear that long without changing. I edit too much.