See You Later Alligator

The neighbor at the corner of the cul de sac
was known to throw back a few.
He smoked wacky tobaccy at leisure
and even drank homemade brew.

Spring rains overflowed the small gulley
and washed debris through the sewer pipe.
When he saw a small head emerging,
the old boy screamed and let out a yipe.

My daughter peeked out the window,
and watched him pick up a hoe.
He whacked and nearly decapitated
the wild animal that came through the flow.

My seven-year-old granddaughter panicked,
let out a piercing scream
as her three foot pet alligator
flowed out of her yard and continued downstream.

She ran out of the house shouting, "Please don't cut off his head!"
"Back away, kid" the guy shouted. "This thing is almost dead."
"You brought this home from Florida?!" he asked in disbelief.
"Yeah, but it's only made of rubber."

He flung the hoe and a sigh of relief.

(And yes, this really happened.)