I have a cold. I am using Kleenex by the box full sneezing, blowing and laughing aloud as I read a humorous book by Liz Curtis Higgs, Help! I'm Laughing and I Can't Get Up. It is a book of stories she collected from people across the U.S. One is about a woman named Deanna. It reminds me of something that happened to me long ago.
Deanna says she was on a first date with an older, refined gentleman who took her to an Italian restaurant. She wore a navy suit and a lovely, light blue, silk blouse with a long flowing tie that forms a bow at the neckline. She tucked her napkin in her lap, fearful of spilling spaghetti sauce. She took small bites and dabbed her mouth frequently. Each time, the gentleman smiled broadly at her. She felt thrilled that he liked her. At the end of the meal she reached for her napkin which had slid down into her lap, and she jerked up one of the tails of her bow. It was covered in red lipstick and marinara sauce.
My children were young. I was taking them to McDonald's. I grabbed my zippered sweatshirt out of the clean laundry and threw it on. While eating our lunch in a very crowded Mickey Ds I sneezed, a great big aaaahccchhhooo which drew a great deal of attention. I felt that wad of kleenex in my pocket and reached for it. Out came a pair of my silk granny panties that unfurled with static electricity like a noisy surrender flag.
Come on, tell me what it is that you can now laugh about, the thing that made you cringe with embarrassment then.
9 comments:
I hope you feel better... sandie
I totally forgot about a date I was on until I read your story. I got up from the table to go to the restroom. There was a half wall and as I walked, I noticed my date watching me - I looked over and smiled and he smiled back. I was feeling rather special... until all of a sudden I tripped. That was special all right. We had a good laugh as he was surprised when all of a sudden I just disappeared. Another time (different date) came to pick me up when I was living with my older sister. It was snowy and icy and she had flagstone as her sidewalk and it was on a slight incline. First my date fell, then I tried to help him up and I fell. Neither one of us could get up, so we laid there laughing on the icy walk. He he he... geez I'm sure there's more, but I think I wrote a small novel here! Okay, teeny tiny novel.
Once, when we took our 4th grade students ice skating, the other female teacher Tanya and I plotted to "get" our male colleague. He was the high school baseball coach, as young as Tanya (late 20's) and was so athletic, the prospect of making him fall on the ice was irresistable.
Unfortunately, I was 20 years older than them. AND, I am a horrible ice skater. (My style is quite aerobic however. To keep my balance, I have to wave my arms around wildly.)
Needless to say, in attempting vainly to get Sean to fall, I fell--sprawled out across the ice.
(We acted worse than the kids, but had a blast.)
Lynn,
You made me laugh out loud!
Sioux,
It's probably a good thing we don't work together. We'd both be sent to the principal's office.
Sandie,
It always gets worse before it gets better. Thanks for thegood wishes. Now for a piece of peanut butter pie!
Great stories,Linda! haha Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment on my rainbow blogpost. How touching your comment was. You must think of your dear friend whenever you see rainbows. Wishing you a warm week... Donna
Too funny!! I thought of so many embarrassing stories that it was a little horrifying. But regarding things-you-pull-out-of-your-clothes, I've had dryer sheets fall out so many times that when it happens in front of a class, I just keep going.
Let's see. Walking into high school, felt something dragging on my foot, a pair of underwear had ended up in my jeans leg in the laundry and fallen out when I got to school. At my daughter's baptism, felt something dragging on my feet, it was my slip - it fell down when the elastic became shot. Last year we were staying at an elegant inn. Came down for dinner. One of the waitstaff noticed something hanging on the back of my dress. A black bra. I could go on, but you get the idea!
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