Thursday, August 30, 2012

Blowing in the wind

Fall is my favorite season. I love being outdoors.

I don't like the cold weather or the short days of winter that are on the horizon.

I have that "just before" feeling. It's not anxiety, just the lead up to the unknown. Like the day before second grade when I hoped my Big Chief tablet would get me through the semester and my pencil lead wouldn't break. The same feeling I had as a kid on Halloween evening as I stood at the door in my costume inhaling a hint of burning leaves on the crisp evening air, waiting for darkness to descend so I could go trick-or-treating. Hoping I wouldn't get a bunch of popcorn balls and wishing I'd get Hershey bars and Mary Janes. The unknown, the anticipation.

Family members on all sides have weekend outings planned, and I am anxious, wondering when the predicted rain from Hurricane Isaac will arrive. If we'll all be indoors instead of outdoors? If-if-if.

Another school year begins in a few days. Another autumn is upon us. The seasonal changes are evident. Change is ahead on all fronts.

I sat outside for a while on the front porch and gazed across the road at an overgrown field that used to be a thriving farm. This summer was brutal; it took its toll.

Today, the breeze felt and smelled of fall promises. It took me back to August 1970. My ex ( a soldier) and I were living in an old faded green, bus-size trailer in Alaska. I'd taken my blue-eyed baby girl out back to the communal clothesline. I placed her in her pumpkin seat on a table while I hung his hand-washed fatigues next to her baby clothes.

As the clothes flapped in the breeze, I wondered what the winds of change would bring in my life, her life, our lives. As I was anticipating the future, my baby girl was enjoying the moment. I heard her squeal with delight when the cottonwood trees let loose with their load and the white fluff
fluttered just out of her reach...nature's mobile under a blue sky, blowing promises on a gentle breeze...

I must remember not to put myself too far ahead of the moment. I must inhale deeply, soak up the sun, and prepare for whatever blows our way.

Does the seasonal change or the beginning of a new school year make you feel melancholy?

11 comments:

Bookie said...

Yes it does, Linda. Autumn was always a mixed bag for me...loss of summer and biking freedom, the pool closing, the dying of things, harvest followed by ugly winter. But it was also a new beginning at school, cooler days, new penny loafers, my birthday, kicking leaves, football games, mum corsages, pumpkins on porches and family for Thanksgiving. It might be my favorite season now (few tornadoes!) if only winter wasn't hanging in the wings!!!

Joanne Noragon said...

I can smell autumn, and it smells mighty fine. But nearly three quarters of the year is gone and that is just unbelievable. I don't feel any different, however. I just feel here.

Claudia Moser said...

Autumn is my season, being born in October. I somehow get alive!

Kim said...

I mourn the waning sunlight, but love the sounds of and smells of the fallen leaves.

I think about cooking stews and soups and cocooning indoors with a good book...if I had a fireplace, I'd be so very contented.

It's new school clothes, new routines, new TV shows and cool mornings.

Susan said...

Oh definitely I feel very melancholic when autumn rolls around.

I've already reminisced about my kids when they were little....how excited they were....how I'd stage first day of school photos in their new duds. Oh, like the song says, "Those were the days my friend, we thought they'd never end, we'd sing and dance, for ever and a day...."

Then I feel the tears come and it's time to pull myself back into the NOW.

Thanks for a nice post, Linda. Susan

Sioux said...

Melancholy with a side of "delicious." The smells of autumn, the crisp air, the colors of the leaves--it's a delightful season.

Your post reminds me of Simon and Garfunkle's "Hazy Shade of Winter."

Cathy C. Hall said...

Goodness, Linda, your imagery just took my breath away!

But I know exactly what you mean...for me, it's right after Labor Day. I love the smell of promise in the air.

Val said...

Oh, I LOVE fall. I always looked forward to returning to school. What future valedictorian doesn't? Fall meant volleyball, and marching in the band at football games. Even now, I like getting back into the school routine.

My melancholy falls in mid-July. I can see the end of summer vacation on the horizon. Once my break is over, I'm itching to return to school. It's mainly the thought of losing my free time, not the thought of going back to work, that grates on my nerves.

Tammy said...

Yes, and you captured it just beautifully!

Lynn said...

Yes - and I love your descriptions. You always have such a way with words.

K9friend said...

Living in the Midwest is perfect for me. Right now I can't wait for the blue skies and crisp air of fall. Towards the end of the fall, winter sounds ideal with its snowy beauty. Then I long for cold gray skies to move into the riot of spring color and warmer air. That, of course, gives way to summer on a river (or if I'm lucky) ocean beach. Then it's time for the cycle to start all over again. Perhaps I'm easily bored???

Pat
Critter Alley