Tuesday, January 26, 2016

My chin can do WHAT?!


When I called for my routine mammy whammy last week, I asked for the first appointment of the day, thinking maybe 8:00 a.m. The receptionist said, "Okay, we'll see you at 7:10 a.m. on Monday."
Well I am an early riser, so no problem. Except the problem was at 4:00 a.m. Kitty No-No was gagging in the hall way. I made a mad dash to catch him before he hurled a fur ball up on the carpet. I tossed him onto the kitchen tile floor. He didn't hawk up anything. He made his way to his dish and proceeded to ask for food. Easier to give him kibble than to quibble.

At 6:00 a.m. hubby saw me snoozing on the couch. I said, "Been up since 4. Wake me at 6:30."
At 6:45, I woke myself, went into the study and asked him WHEN he was going to wake me up. He replied, "I have four more minutes, see?"

I see the computer says 1/26.

"Yeah, 26! so I have 4 more minutes."
I shook my head and made a mad dash to meet my mammy whammer.

The receptionist tried to run my insurance card, hemmed and hawed, mumbled to herself, then looked at me and said, "Hmmm, no you weren't born..." Her voice trailed as she scrolled.
I wasn't BORN?!

She finally found my correct birth date, entered it, and my insurance was approved. She asked, "So are you still employed at ...?"
"No, no longer working."

"Fired?'
"Retired."

"Then you're still working."
Sometimes it's best to smile and nod.

Then it was time for the compression. I looked up at the ceiling as the technician was positioning me and the girls. She said, "You don't have to look up like that."
"It's okay, I said, "it's a neck exercise, gets rid of double chin."

"Yeah, but when you stretch your neck that taut, it pulls the breast tissue up and we may miss something high on your chest. Look at the wall and relax."
PULLS THE BREAST TISSUE UP?!

If the next time you see me stargazing, or cloud naming, or counting ceiling tiles, just remember my chin is working overtime, doing what my bra straps can no longer do.
Ladies, have you had your mammogram?

Lower your chin now, and shake your head yes or no.

11 comments:

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Very first thing I did was flex those chin muscles, she was right, I could feel a slight lift to the sisters!

Bookie said...

Great post! Funny and informative both!!! Mine is coming up...at new hospital which is another story. Tale of Bill and time...ah, I have been standing right in those shoes one way or another!!!!!!

Merlesworld said...

Boy do I need those chin exercises, will try.
Merle...........

Val said...

Well, don't walk around flexing, showing off your new talent. The people on the Bookmobile might look at you askance. Unless you've quit trying to have your mammograms on the Bookmobile, that is.

Sioux said...

I'm going to start lifting my head so high, it's gonna look like I'm doing backbends.

(I don't think even that would help lift up MY girls. ;)

Susan Sundwall said...

Scheduling mine soon. Just had the "smear" a few weeks ago. Thanks for the reminder and the chuckles. =0)

Connie said...

Good to know! :) I have an appointment early in February.

Susan said...

I tell you, Linda, I HATE those appointments. Surely someone, somewhere should invent a better way of checking for breast lumps, etc. It's truly horrible. Susan

K9friend said...

Geez, if that's true I'll be staring at the sky for good.

Pat
Critter Alley

Theresa Sanders said...

Yes, mamm, I have... er, wait, I meant ma'am! ;) You always make me LOL, Linda.

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Haha! Love this post. :) No, I put my mammo off last year. I'll definitely take care of it this spring, though.