Monday, November 15, 2010

Doozy of a dream

I have just begun reading Running With Scissors, a memoir by Augusten Burroughs. Has anyone read this book? Maybe reading about some of the bizzare people, places and things in his life, triggered a crazy dream I had last night. It was so realistic. I feel like I had a starring role in an I Love Lucy episode.

I was in my thirties, seated on stool at a counter in this very long chrome diner watching a little fat man make layer cakes. He dropped this huge, five-layer yellow cake with chocolate frosting, then he tried to retrieve a large square chunk that hadn't shattered, but he couldn't balance it, and was ready to toss it when I shouted, "Hey, that's a perfectly good cake; my kids would eat that."

He told me I could have it if I'd help him clean up the kitchen which was off to the left, no door. I said, "Sure." He ran and looked out the front door and gasped, then he ripped off his apron and took off running and said, "The inspectors are here. Stall them. You have to save my business. It's all up to you."

So, I quickly refrigerated the three dozen warm eggs he had on the counter. I'd plunged my hands (up to my elbows) into a sink filled with soapy water and dirty dishes, just as a tall British inspector walked in with a clipboard and asked for the proprietor. I said, "May I help you?"

He flirted, "Yes, come away with me." I felt embarrassed and babbled about the wonderful cakes served in the establishment. Then I bent down to wipe the filthy floor, and he peered over me and smiled. He started talking gibberish. I reached up to brush my hair back and realized I had pink sponge rollers in my hair. I gasped and apologized and he laughed. My eyes were scanning left and right for that chicken little owner to come save me. I was so uncomfortable. Soon the inspector's gibberish became intelligible and he said he was smitten with me and my antics.

I said, "Here, if you want to be smitten, try this cake." I shoved the milk chocolate frosted cake at him and ran out the door.

HONESTLY! I have to stop reading before bed.

9 comments:

Beth M. Wood said...

I DID read it. And then I read "A Wolf at the Table," also by Burroughs. And I don't blame you for the crazy dreams! Oh, keep reading at bed time; Stephen King's "Misery" was based on a dream he had on an airplane! Ya never know what good stuff your brain will come up with next!

BECKY said...

Linda, I started to read that book years ago, and had to quit. It was just TOO bizarre for my taste! I mean...come on...eating dog food??!! Uh, sorry if you haven't gotten to that part yet!:o

Bookie said...

Never read the book but tried the movie with DH...so bad we stopped and took it back.

Julia said...

I loved that book, but I enjoyed "Dry" even more. Those are the only ones by Augusten Burroughs I've read.

Dreams are fun!

Susan said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha That sounded like quite the book, Linda, and quite the dream that followed reading it. Oh my. That was a hilarious dream. Tonight, try hot chocolate before bed. ha ha ha Susan

Lynn said...

I find all memoirs fascinating and have read "Running with Scissors". But your dream sounds even more fascinating. What do you think it means? (Funny my word to verify this post was CAKIN).

Linda O'Connell said...

Hi Ladies,
The dream was something else and the book is getting very interesting.

Becky, It's dry kibble. I was thinking canned dog food. Ugh

Claudia, I know what you mean. I've walked out on a couple of movies.

Beth and Julia, my fearless friends; I shall finish this book.

Susan, I just had chocolate Ben and Jerry's ice cream, but now hot chocolate sounds appealing.

Lynn,
I was looking in the freezer case at the grocery store and saw Ben & Jerry's Boston Creme Pie flavored ice cream, so maybe that's where the whole cake thing came from. Who knows?

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Kelly Stone wrote a book (either "Thinking Write" or "Time to Write", I can't remember) that talks about dreams and how they can help with plot lines and characters and such. You ought to get a doozy of a story out of that one!

Tammy said...

I'm with Lisa. You're an author even in your sleep!