Walking my cuties off

I like cottage cheese. I have been eating those little Cuties (mini oranges) with the easy-to-peel rind, since Christmas. Maybe that's what it is. Yeah, uh huh, I want to believe that my cellulite, which has crept from my thighs to my upper arms is from eating cuties... well, it is from eating. Anyway, spring break is this month and so I tried on my capri pants in case we go some place warm. It is snowing here again. Another snow, sleet and ice storm expected next week. Ugh.

The seams are screaming on my zippers, so I decided to walk the mall today at 6:30 a.m. while hubby went to the gym. I am a people watcher, a fast walker, and a multi-tasker. Which only means I overtook every old bugger at the mall while checking my cell phone and observing the interaction around me, listening to snippets of conversation from the over-seventy crowd. This from two senior women wearing too short pants walking on the first floor:

"I don't care what anyone says about my body."
"Oh, you DO, TOO. I wouldn't want anyone to say anything bad about my body, no matter how bad it is. Nobody would. So you DO care."

"I do NOT care! People can say whatever they want about my body."

Second lap around I figured they must have been siblings because they were still saying, "I do NOT!"  and "You do TOO!"

On the second level:

Two men trailing behind two waddling women. The tall woman had a rosary in her hands but seemed to be preoccupied with the people more than saying her Hail Marys and Our Fathers. She could have been using the beads to lap count. As I gained on them, one of the guys said to the other, "She wants your body."

The woman with the rosary said, "No I don't." She nudged her friend. "Will you tell them I am looking for a used car with a good body."

The old guys laughed behind the old gal's backs, poked each other and the gals some more. "So, you want my body, huh?"

The rosary woman said, "Listen, all I'm interested in is a good body and equipment that works."

The old guys almost lost their dentures. I snickered and headed downstairs.

On the lower level:
Husband and wife moseying along. She came to an abrupt stop. He asked her what's wrong. She said, "I hurt."
He said, "Where do you hurt?"
Here, I have a cramp in my leg."
"Where in your leg? How bad is it? What does it feel like?"
She says, "You're giving me a pain."


I walked the three levels two times in 45 minutes. Figure if I walk three times a week, I might get my figure back and have a few chuckles along the way.