Ready...aim...fire!

Did you know the rubber band was patented in 1845 by Stephen Perry in England?

                                           

I am certain that I could make an enormous rubber band ball such as this if I followed the mail carrier. When I walk a mile in the neighborhood, I find thick rubber bands on the ground every few houses. I read that the US Postal Service is one of the greatest users of rubber bands. 

I have been in the bowels of the main post office downtown where mail is sorted. I took older students on a field trip there to see how mail goes from mailbox to destination. We learned a lot of facts and heard many opinions. Most of the employees were women who stood on their feet most of their shifts and sorted mail electronically by zip codes, or by hand when the zip code was unreadable on the envelopes. 

They shouted at my students, "Get a good education. You don't want to work here! Don't use fancy envelopes with decorations on the bottom. The machines won't sort them and we have to do it by hand."

The postal workers were probably overworked and releasing frustrations. But to tell you the truth, I sort of felt like we were visiting a dingy prison where the inmates were about to revolt.

I digress. Let's get back to rubber bands. I have often used a large rubber band as a bookmark. It works well.

Let me tell you about my latest adventure with a rubber band. Nicole was opening her birthday gifts. One of her dolls had a thick, long rubber band on it. When she removed it, it shot across the room and she couldn't find it.

My ex and my present husband were seated close to one another at the corners of a sectional couch. Bill was seated on the large couch and my ex on the small one. I was seated at the far end of the large couch.

Ten minutes into their political yammering and downright debating, I cleared my throat. I get it that my long-time ex didn't remember my attention signal. But Bill knows my heavy emphasis throat clearing is for effect only and not because of sinus drainage. Neither of them looked my way.

That is when I spotted the thick rubber band near my right foot. I needed to divert their attention. I placed one end on my index finger, pulled back, and aimed at my sweet baboo's thick, muscular right shoulder. He doesn't complain about flu shots, so I knew he would feel the ping, not complain, but get my drift.

I cocked my finger, stretched the band taut, took aim, and launched right at his arm. Like a curve ball it swerved and hit my ex right in the cheek. 

It took me by surprise as well as both guys. I sputtered, laughed at his bug-eyed expression, and Bill's What the hell did you just do! expression. I apologized, and couldn't stop laughing. My ex joked, "She's mean!" and then laughed with the rest of the crowd. I swear, it wasn't on purpose.

So, how do YOU use rubberbands?