Water aerobics aren't for me

I wrote this last year, and silly me! I'm going back again today.

I've Had My Fill of Exercise
Linda O'Connell(c)

I joined a gym this morning; I rode the stationary bike,
until Barbie sat down beside me, and gave me a look I didn’t like.

So, I walked over to the treadmill and kept a steady pace.
After just one mile, I was sweaty and red in the face.

My boobs were bouncing wildly, my belly keeping time;
I hit the speed up button and nearly landed on my behind.

I hurried to the ladies room, feeling like a fool.
I spied a class of women exercising in the pool.

Aha! I said delighted, and opened up my locker,
I slipped into my swimsuit; man that was a shocker!

I couldn’t believe that bimbo standing right there in my mirror.
My tiny little swim skirt didn’t cover half my rear.

I made my way to the edge of the pool, got brave and dropped my towel.
I swear I heard that teenaged life guard let out a little yowl.

The aquatics instructor smiled, “Come in; the water’s fine.”
I heard some whispering women comparing theirs, to my behind.

“Okay ladies,” the instructor said. “Pull your partner up and down the lane.”
I headed to the lazy river; water aerobics looked insane.

Second lap around the bend a woman shouted, “Watch out for my noodle!”
I’d had my fill of exercise, so I headed home to eat my apple strudel.