Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Deliberately eavesdropping

Some of our best friends and family members are truck drivers, big rig drivers, OTR drivers. Those trucks scare the daylights out of me. I know for a fact that truck drivers get as flustered and frustrated with car drivers as we do with them. I've heard their stories. Now it's time to share mine.
Many years ago, we were going on vacation. One of the kids had given us a CB receiver. We could receive broadcasts but not respond. That was fine with me, as we would have had to use a handle ( a call name). We joked about what we'd call ourselves, but decided anonymity was best. It was fun to listen in on the truckers' conversations. As we headed toward Florida it became apparent that most of the drivers disliked other OTR drivers from Arkansas. My goodness, some of the disparaging remarks were funny and filthy.

The chatter increased when a trucker was thrilled with a female driver. They talked about the "seat covers" like adolescent boys.

We were coming up on a trucker who had his microphone in hand. Our receiver cackled a wolf whistle. "Lordy be! Wait till you boys see the two seat covers coming your way. Sweeeet! Passenger's got a handful; driver, bigger hooters." We passed the truck and approached a sedan with a family. Nope, it wasn't that car, obviously. We passed a few more cars, still on the lookout for what this guy considered eye candy.
We noticed other big rig drivers craning their necks, too. Then we heard a more detailed description: "Any of you boys get a good look at the foreigner wearing the pink shirt?

We looked at each other and laughed hysterically. I grabbed a pillow and covered my chest. Bill slunk down in the seat of his Toyota, as I straightened the collar on his pink Polo shirt. Red necks didn't take kindly to foreign cars or guys in pink. I think we turned off at the next exit. Can't figure out why my honey put his jacket on.

We still laugh about that, but if you ever mention it to him, he'll say I have an overactive imagination.



Bookie said...

That is so funny!! I needed a chuckle tonight. Reminded me when I got married end of May...unusually super hot weekend and we left Kansas right away to get back to St. Louis as DH had to report on Monday to aircraft plant. He refused to turn on AC in car as he thought it too hot and it would damage car..admittedly we passed cars on side of road that had over heated. I got so wet against the plastic seat covers I took my shirt off to dry. I was oblvious to fact truckers were working to keep pace with us. I was stupid thinking they couldn't see in. Was SO miserably hot I was nearly sick though...ah the memories we have on highways!

Val said...

Foreigner wearing the pink shirt? That's a compliment, compared to the things Sioux calls him!

Mevely317 said...

Too funny, Linda!
Ya, my former hubby and I enjoyed eavesdropping and yakking (him, not me) on the CB.
Once on a road-trip from Texas to Florida several truckers were bad-mouthing the 'Yankees' and who knows else. R. grabbed the mike and asked, "What about Texans?"
... to which one deep voice affirmed, "Dang, Texans can pass! Woo-hoo!"
Not especially funny, but still a feel-good moment I hadn't thought of in years.

Tammy said...

Your stories absolutely amaze me, Linda, and I so needed this one! Though I will never feel comfortable passing a truck again....

Connie said...

Hahaha! There's a case for having tinted windows in the car, I guess. :)

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

So funny, Linda! lol I bet those guys could tell some real stories, too, about the things they see from their vantage point!

Sioux Roslawski said...

Wherever you and Bill go, it's an adventure.

Were those truckers commenting on Sasquatch's moobs?