During the week my aunt passed away, and now her sister is at risk due to a serious heart issue. Life is as hard as a stone sometimes, and can also be as beautiful as these wild flowers.
My cousins and I were all at our aunt's hospital bedside, and although she was in pain, she was lucid and spoke to each of us. We stood hand in hand and prayed. We hadn't seen one another in a long time. It was almost like a changing of the guard. Now WE are becoming the oldest generation in our family.
I attended an early education seminar once about "wants and needs." It's okay to WANT. If we routinely deny small children what they want, they sometimes grow into teens and adults who are unable to ask for what they NEED from a partner, a parent, a supervisor. We were urged to turn off our automatic NO response, and not over talk it: "You already have a ball and you don't need any more."
Often young children merely want the experience of holding an object, and when that need is satisfied, they can be distracted and onto the next thing in their lives.
When he saw a bin of balls he squealed, "Balls! I want the orange ball." I talked to the orange ball, NOT Liam, and said, "Orange ball, Liam is going to hold you, and then I will put you back in your bin."
Bill looked at me like I was crazy. Liam was trying to process it all as he kept asking for one color after another until he was surrounded by balls. He was delighted. Then I took one ball at a time and put them back. I told Liam to say goodbye to the balls and tell them we'll be back soon. No fuss, no wailing. He had his wants and needs met. We were soon on our way home. That's really not spoiling. I did not buy all the balls.
We took a walk to the pumpkin patch on the corner, a little shop that sells seasonal things. He WANTED the biggest pumpkin. I acknowledged, instead of denied, and I did not reason with him on an adult level.
He realized he couldn't lift it. I didn't have to point out his inability.
I said, "Find one you can carry."
Well what do you know? That little one at his feet was just his size. And he came to that conclusion with out my convincing.