Sunday, June 3, 2012

Missed My Vacation

Twenty something years ago, when we were thin and young, my honey and I took a brief jaunt to Nashville. It was a fiasco.

We headed for the heartland to visit tourist sites;
just a mini vacation, only for three nights.
We chugged up Look Out Mountain to see what we could see,
Bug guts on the windshield affecting visibility.

My honey pulled to the side of the road, and rummaged through the trunk.
He finally found the glass cleaner among all our travel junk.
He scrubbed the windows front and back, and then he washed the sides.
He hustled over to where I sat, and sprayed Windex in my eyes.

“I thought you had the window up!” He shouted as I wailed.
“I thought that you could see I didn’t, and now my vision’s failed.”
We drove down Lookout Mountain. I didn’t see a thing!
We ended up in Nashville where the country singers sing.

We saw Rheiman Auditorium and toured the historic sight.
Then we got a hotel room and prepared to spend the night.
We found our room at the top of the stairs; the door it stood ajar.
So, we placed our luggage on the bed and headed back to the car.

We ate a lovely meal; it really was the best.
Our bellies were so full; we decided to take a rest.
My honey put the key in the lock; he twisted it and he turned.
We had to find the manager, and this is what we learned:

our luggage was in room 201 A, where we could plainly see,
but the room we rented was 201 B and 201 A didn’t have a key!
We waited for a locksmith. We were exhausted tired and crabby.
Then we boarded a shuttle bus, driven by a former, crazy cabby.

We made it to the Grand Old Opry, saw Hank Jr. and many more.
Hank sang this tired old gal to sleep, and I began to snore.
Yes, we went to Look Out Mountain and the place where the country singers sing.
I can honestly say we went there, but I didn’t see a thing.


Claudia Moser said...

Poor you, sorry for the loss of sight!

Janet Smart said...

How funny! I wrote a funny poem once about one of our vacation trips. We were kept up most of the night by the noisy people next door to us. That morning at breakfast, the words came to me and I started writing it on napkins at the table.

Bookie said...

Funny and sounds so typical of many a vacation!I rememberig camping (camping again!)...going to find kids in dark, stepping in a hole, hearing a pop and finding a ankle swelling to size of a bucket. Had to drive myself home as we had two vehciles and two kids with dog along! So had to pack up camp, drive an hour home, then go to ER. What a mess.

Sioux Roslawski said...

Linda--NYMB (have you heard of those?) has a book on travel. The deadline is coming up. Has this poem been published before? It's hilarious.

Kim Lehnhoff said...

Great poem! I've had vacations like that, but the craziness is usually of my own making.

Debra Mayhew said...

Wow! So it wasn't just the hotel room mix-up on that trip! It's enough to make a person want to vacation at home. :) But something tells me you and Bill have fun no matter where you go!

Val said...

Well, at least you didn't try to barge into somebody's room, thinking it was the office.

Susan said...

Hi Linda...

Read with delight about your trip to Tennessee
Could tell right from the start,
It wasn't filled with glee.

Oh my gosh, that Windex squirt
Was right into the eyes.
If there was a Bad Moves contest
Bill would win the prize.

At least you weren't among
those bugs upon the glass
But the trip to the Grand Old Opry
Was a great big pain in the, ahem,
A trip that lacked some dash.

Thanks for the chuckles. Loved reading your post. Susan

Cathy C. Hall said...

Hahahahaha! I did that same trip--Lookout Mountain and Nashville and the Grande Old Opry. But I don't think we had nearly as much fun as y'all! :-)

Linda Austin said...

Loved this, Linda! Thanks for the chuckles. And I'm so sorry for you!

Jennifer Brown Banks said...


Thanks for the engaging read! It's always a pleasure to visit. :-)

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

It's called, "making a memory." Those disasters can often be viewed with humor once they're history.

Pat Wahler said...

Funny poem, Linda! You have to try Nashville again sometime. We always enjoy it!

Critter Alley

Tammy said...

Hilarious poem! I thought you were going to say you'd left your luggage in someone else's room. At least you didn't see your clothing walk by.