Thursday, December 24, 2020

But what can I DO?

I wake early. Make a cup of green tea and sit and sip my warm beverage by the light of the Christmas tree. I gaze at the meaningful, simple, and homemade ornaments, which are priceless to me. There are framed photos and scribble designs made by our children, grandchildren and great grandsons which span almost half a century. A tiny gauzy angel which belonged to Bill's late mom adorns a branch high on our tree. It is possibly a century old. I revel in the beauty of the lights. I can almost hear my first great grandson at age two shouting excitedly, "Balls, Nana, Balls!" Balls were his favoroite thing then, and when he saw the colors splayed like balls all over the livingroom, his joy became mine. To this day I can feel that joy in my heart.
I look back at Christmases past and wonder if times were better or just seem to have been. I cherish meories of Tracey's and Jason's childhoods. We had such fun sled riding, decorating, making cookies and sitting on Santa's lap and especially visiting family on Christmas Eve. I miss my mom more than ever.

I miss the close contact most of all, the hugging, smooching of little cheeks, and wide-eyed close talking as they share their innermost thoughts and excitement about their presents. 

When my daughter was five she unwrapped a little purse. She held it up, pointed to the dangling price tag, and shouted with glee, "Look! Santa shops at Target, too!" Oh the memories.

I love this little statue of Santa holding a candle. It reminds me of a long ago song: This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine... 

The message brings hope in times of despair and uncertainty. All is calm... all is bright. If ONLY. 

Peace begins with each of us. Random acts of kindness pile up like presents, and each of us gets to distribute our gifts. Let your light shine. Seek peace, calm, serenity and remember that Jesus IS the reason for the season. Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all of you.

 I had my annual well visit yesterday. My doctor asked how I was feeling. Tears brimmed when I told her I missed nine months with my great grandsons. She agreed isolation is the worst. And she asked how things are at home.

"Oh fine. Really! Bill makes me laugh, and I make him food. We're happy!"

She laughed out loud. I think she needed that. Her husband has a terminal illness. I told her I pray for her and him. It was good see the gratititude in her expression. These are the random acts of kindness that cost nothing and pay off big. 


Donna Volkenannt said...

Wishing you a blessed Christmas and a new year filled with joy and peace, Linda!

tracboy2 said...

Beautiful! Your words resonate with me such wonderful memories of Christmases past.
May your Christmas be Merry & your New Year Bright & Promising.

Val said...

Merry Christmas to you and Bill and your sassy cat. I am missing my Christmas Eve game-playing get-together at my sister's house. She promises she will host a gathering later on. Hopefully she will have games for met to win then! At least I can talk to her by phone, and see her briefly when we meet up to exchange gifts and food on my porch.

Susan said...

Just lost a comment I wrote. Despite a terribly changed holiday ,i still hope you will have a Merry Christmas, Linda. Have fun!

Kathy G said...

Lovely words. As I think back to Christmas over the years I realize all of my memories are positive. I'm sure there were negative things that happened, but I have chosen to block them out.

Sioux Roslawski said...

Linda--What a lovely post. It brought back memories of when my kids were little.

Yes, not getting to see the grandkids as often as I'd like is difficult. Hopefully soon all our days will be bright, lit up with the faces of our kids, grandkids and great grandkids.



I love the line: "Bill makes me laugh and I make him food." Good stuff!