Tweak-tweak-tweak (not the same thing as twerk-twerk-twerk) is what I do when I write poetry. Mine is plain spoken, and it usually deals with real life. I was invited to read my work on Friday evening at Whole Foods Grocery in Town and Country, an upscale suburb of St. Louis. Acclaimed poet, Dwight Bittikofer is the curator, and I was honored he selected me.
I read several poems and one humorous essay. I left one of my most recent poems at home. I wrote it on vacation while the emotions were strong in my mind, but weak on paper. I kept trying to figure out how to portray a black roiling sky without using those words.
Started out like this as I sat on a balcony watching a storm brew over the ocean:
Cloud formations roil at midday and morph into black terror.
UGH! Too many words.
Then I tried this:
Puffy teddy bear clouds
morph into grizzly terror,
at midday, lightning rakes the noon darkness clawing terror...
UGH! I don't like the way it feels or sounds, so I will tweak it many more times before I decide to read it at an open mic.
There was quite a gathering at Whole Foods despite the gloomy and rainy weather. Here is the advertisement and promotion.
second
friday notes presents poetry and music throughout the
evening in the store's large cafe. Music begins at 7pm, followed by
poetry. Food and drink available for purchase. Open to the public.
Mazaré Rogers is a spoken word poet who hails from Durham,
North Carolina. She studied English and Creative Writing at the University of
North Carolina– Chapel Hill and has taught middle school English and
Poetry Writing. Now, she is pursuing her Masters of Divinity at Covenant
Seminary and performs her poetry at churches, conferences
and concerts.
My take:
Mazare` a young, self confident and well spoken African American woman, refers to herself as a black woman. Her words grab listeners by the gut and twist. I experienced her work with all of my senses, and in addition, every time she engaged in word play, my brain zinged. I love when a writer can do that.
Brad, a hip, young musician transported me back to the French Quarter during last spring's jazz fest. His music is easy listening, mellow and moving, especially his own composed songs. WOW!
Linda, an old gal, stands at the lectern trying to suck in her gut, hide her double chin while gazing into the crowd. She writes from the heart and tells it like it is.
It was fun and enjoyable and I thank Sioux Roslawski, one of my critique partners and a multi published writer, and Marcel Toussaint, a famous local poet, and everyone else for coming out to listen.
Favorite comment: "Your poetry is as strong as your prose."
Ten years ago I would not have been comfortable reading in front of strangers. My poetry and my presentations have improved because I practice, or tweak-tweak-tweak, also known as revising. Revision is such a big part of the writing process. Do you agree?
This is one of the poems I read.
by Linda O'Connell
Chubby little legs stuffed
like sausages in pink tights,
Itchy ruffled tu-tu cinched at waist.
She shuffles down the hall
Carrying her ballet slippers.
Bats her eyes, stomps her feet,
Twists, turns, twirls, swoops, sways and sings.
Out of my orbit
Already on her way to independence.
Boogie all night long,
But for now, she’s my ballerina baby.
I read several poems and one humorous essay. I left one of my most recent poems at home. I wrote it on vacation while the emotions were strong in my mind, but weak on paper. I kept trying to figure out how to portray a black roiling sky without using those words.
Started out like this as I sat on a balcony watching a storm brew over the ocean:
Cloud formations roil at midday and morph into black terror.
UGH! Too many words.
Then I tried this:
Puffy teddy bear clouds
morph into grizzly terror,
at midday, lightning rakes the noon darkness clawing terror...
UGH! I don't like the way it feels or sounds, so I will tweak it many more times before I decide to read it at an open mic.
There was quite a gathering at Whole Foods despite the gloomy and rainy weather. Here is the advertisement and promotion.
second
friday notes presents poetry and music throughout the
evening in the store's large cafe. Music begins at 7pm, followed by
poetry. Food and drink available for purchase. Open to the public.
Mazaré Rogers is a spoken word poet who hails from Durham,
North Carolina. She studied English and Creative Writing at the University of
North Carolina– Chapel Hill and has taught middle school English and
Poetry Writing. Now, she is pursuing her Masters of Divinity at Covenant
Seminary and performs her poetry at churches, conferences
and concerts.
Linda O'Connell is an award winning poet and essayist. She is
a two time recipient of the Metro Arts in
Transit poetry award. Her work appears in Mid River's Review,
Grist Literary Journal, Flashquake, Mochila Review, Well Versed, Lucidity
Poetry Journal, 22 Chicken Soup for the Soul books and more. She co-created
Not Your Mother's Book...On Family. Linda blogs at http://lindaoconnell.blogspot.com
Music: Keyboardist, Bradley
Ellebrecht is active in the St. Louis area as a professional pianist,
composer, and educator. He has a B.M. from Webster University and has
played music in a variety of settings from church praise bands and choir
accompanying to jazz and rock bands.
My take:
Mazare` a young, self confident and well spoken African American woman, refers to herself as a black woman. Her words grab listeners by the gut and twist. I experienced her work with all of my senses, and in addition, every time she engaged in word play, my brain zinged. I love when a writer can do that.
Brad, a hip, young musician transported me back to the French Quarter during last spring's jazz fest. His music is easy listening, mellow and moving, especially his own composed songs. WOW!
Linda, an old gal, stands at the lectern trying to suck in her gut, hide her double chin while gazing into the crowd. She writes from the heart and tells it like it is.
It was fun and enjoyable and I thank Sioux Roslawski, one of my critique partners and a multi published writer, and Marcel Toussaint, a famous local poet, and everyone else for coming out to listen.
Favorite comment: "Your poetry is as strong as your prose."
Ten years ago I would not have been comfortable reading in front of strangers. My poetry and my presentations have improved because I practice, or tweak-tweak-tweak, also known as revising. Revision is such a big part of the writing process. Do you agree?
This is one of the poems I read.
FIRST DANCE
published in Mom Writers (2008)by Linda O'Connell
Itchy ruffled tu-tu cinched at waist.
She shuffles down the hall
Carrying her ballet slippers.
Takes the stage
In ruby red lipstick and
grandma-rouged cheeks.Bats her eyes, stomps her feet,
Twists, turns, twirls, swoops, sways and sings.
She pirouettes,
Spins further and further Out of my orbit
Already on her way to independence.
One day she’ll dance on my
heart
Shuffle-slide away andBoogie all night long,
But for now, she’s my ballerina baby.