There's a new bag around town

When I really like something, it is hard for me to part with it, even after it is worn out and past its time. I have had shoes that I loved so much, I hot glued the seam. Purses that had threadbare handles. Glasses with one nose pad missing. Oh I eventually tossed them, but it took me a while.

I don't think I'm a hoarder like Tammy, my friend with fifteen pens in her purse. But I did find five in mine today when I switched to a new purse. I spent all afternoon shopping for a new purse, went to
K-Mart and Sears and another big department store, but nothing appealed to me. Walked into a thrift store, and there it was, dangling from a hook, tempting me and taunting in that tawdry voice, which may have been in my head.

Come on sister, flaunt it for once, forget those basic black purses and see what kind of looks you get with me on your shoulder. No! You're wrong. I am not red-red. I am cranberry. Hang me from your shoulder and look in that mirror over there. Ooh-la-la, lady, you know you want me. Hey, don't hang me back up.

Woman, yeah, you with the wrinkles. That black bag makes you look like an old hag. Give me one more chance. Come back here; check out my compartments. That's it, turn me around. That's not just a seam across my backside. Slide you finger down there. That's a cell phone pocket. Yooo-hoo, lady, NOOOOO, don't walk away.

Beige! Bleh! Woman put some zing in your swing, and march right back here! You KNOW you like me. Fine! Go ahead, try on all those old lady purses. I'm waiting ...

I knew you'd be back. Check my stitching, my magnetism, listen to that click when I close. There's a place right in here for your wallet, which happens to be the same color as I am. Pens can go in here, uhm, and dear, do you really need five? They poke. And tissues, Hon, I know you have a cold. A handful of unused is fine, but please don't stuff my cavity with wads of snot-filled Kleenex. I'm too cute for that.

I slipped the handles of that maroon, uhh, I mean cranberry, handbag over my shoulder and I laughed to myself. Perhaps I laughed a little louder than I realized, because the woman next to me, also selecting a hand bag, startled and looked directly at me.

"Did you want this one?" I asked.

WOMAN! Have you heard a thing I've said? With me on your shoulder, you look younger.

I didn't wait for a reply. I walked to the register and bought that saucy sister.