Heartaches

I saw this today, and it spoke to me. My heart aches for the victims of the unspeakable atrocities happening in all parts of the world. I feel helpless, and it seems all I can do is to allow a quiet tear to spill, pray, and share these words.

 

Did you see on the morning news where mothers were banding together to provide the Syrian refugees passing through their towns with strap on baby carriers? Such a simple and thoughtful gesture for those whose arms and hearts ache more than mine will ever know. If only all of us reached out in kindness instead of revenge, hatred, anger.

"...later that night I held
an atlas in my lap
ran my fingers

across the whole world
and whispered,
'Where does it hurt?'

It answered,
'everywhere,
everywhere,
everywhere.' "

by Warsan Shire
posted on Face Book

My problems seem trivial today and my heart feels heavy. In a few minutes we are going to a funeral visitation for a friend who lost his mom. Then we are going to a VFW hall to listen to another friend and his band play music that will trip a memory or two and soothe my soul.

 

Here's how it unfolds

We are so blessed that the daytime weather is still in the 60's and sunny. This was taken at dusk on the banks of the Mississippi River. Lots of barge traffic. As I watched a tug boat pushing a dozen barges against the current, I thought of all the times I've struggled. Sometimes I felt weighted down, going nowhere, marking time. Other times I felt ecstatic and lighthearted because of success, and life seemed as easy as pushing barges downstream. Had to stay within the channel and go with the flow.

If I had taken a better picture you could have seen how the tree was tilted at a 45 degree angle, and it appeared as if Bill could have kicked it over.

Some days I want to kick everything and clear a new path. I have a restless nature, and would like to affect change in my family, in the world. Ease burdens of those who are struggling, ill or in pain.

 

Sometimes I just want to uproot and take off, but then I hear my mom's words. She always said, "You can run away, but you can't out run your problems." I suppose there's a lot of truth to that. 

I look outside my front door and realize that although some of our friends have bigger and better houses, our little ranch house is just right for us, cozy and homey, and in a good neighborhood.

I have been in awe of this tree for 38 years, even though we have lived here for only 20 years. I used to drive past the very house we live in now and secretly yearn for it. The children were small, I was married to someone else, and we had only one car. After I dropped their daddy off at work, I drove slowly past, taking in the beauty of the tree, telling my children to say, "Thank you God for my eyes." I never dreamed that almost twenty years later, my dream house would come to me and that very tree would be in my neighbor's yard. Every autumn day that prayer goes from my mind to God's ear.

Everywhere I look the leaves are shaking loose and boogying on  a breeze. Their colors are vibrant or fading. Life is as it should be. Every day is a gift and I try to find something to be thankful for.

 As winter teases closer and closer and the days grow shorter, cyclical changes take place inside me, too. I slow. I dream. I wish. I hope. I resist. I give in. I intend. I fail. I succeed. I burrow. I achieve. I smile. I sneer. I look backward. I count forward. Hanging on to yesterday, I rush tomorrow.

At this time of year I feel as if I have shaken a wadded up, scented, crocheted edged, perfumed hanky and tossed its contents in the air: tiny bits of the past, present and future mingle, bringing to life those I've lost, and those I've found, and those still to come into my life.

I feel a longing for the ocean's rhythm inside my soul. My thoughts roll away as if on a melancholy wave, and return with an unexpected treasure.

Today I am inspired by an idea that will eventually take shape as a poem, a story, or maybe a book. Perhaps my idea will lay dormant through winter, and erupt in spring. It is germinating, and when it takes root, I am confident it will flourish. To rush it would be a mistake. To live in the past is a mistake, to live for the future prevents one from experiencing the moment, which is really the only thing any of us have.

Are you affected by seasonal changes? Do you like winter? We haven't had to turn our heat on yet. But the day is fast approaching. Do you cocoon? Or are you productive?

 

Monkeying around

We were going to the zoo-zoo-zoo, but he lost his shoe-shoe-shoe.

 

 

The animals we most wanted to see were Liam's favorite, the elephants, but their compound was being cleaned after their Halloween frolic and pumpkin mess, so they were not on display. Instead we discovered the very entertaining orangutans.

Liam was telling me all about them, as he strolled around with his favorite blanket, observing.

He was fascinated when this adult one played on the ropes. I'm sure he thought he could, too. A mama orangutan had a baby clinging to her. She discovered a large square parcel of straw, and two bed sheets. I could see the "light bulb" go off  over her head as she got a bright idea. She dragged the material and her clinging baby down into a little gully away from the visitors.

She shredded the straw, spread it all around, and covered it with a sheet. Then she dislodged her clinging baby, and gently laid him down. He refused to lie down. After many attempts, this exhausted mama gave up and covered her own head with the sheet. As the baby tried to scamper away, the daddy or aunty came to assist. See the kiss she threw to Liam? Those babies puckered up at each other.

 

 

Then it was time to leave and have our snack. Look at Liam's jaws stuffed with peanut butter crackers.

It sure was fun to monkey around with my 16 month old boy. When he saw a lemur, he screeched, "Hi kitty cat." He thought it was our cat and couldn't understand why he couldn't pet it through the glass. We have been blessed with another week of warm weather. It's going to be almost 80 tomorrow, so my honey and I will take a hike. Come back for more photos of our adventure. 

Puppy Love

In our town, it is tradition for trick or treaters to tell a joke or sing a song before they get their treat. Lots of cute jokes on this night. But let me tell you, sometimes the best jokes happen after Halloween, as was the case in our house this morning.

 

Hubby and I were watching TV. How he can tune out the commercials and be looking right at them is beyond me. I hate commercials, especially the guys who scream their advertising campaign messages like EVERY one in the room is hard of hearing. I can ask hubby what they said, and he'll reply, "I don't know. I wasn't paying attention."

 

He knows I often talk to the TV. I shouted, "If you're going to yell at me, I am not going to listen."

I muted the volume, and that got my honey's attention. He looked directly at me and said, "Okay, Say it again. I'll listen. I will. What are you mad about?"

I laughed and laughed. That's how much he listens to ME. 

 

Nana's girl is growing up. Nicole celebrated her 8th birthday. It seems only yesterday she was my little pumpkin in preschool. Still not too big for cuddling and getting hugs from Nana.

Her brother Nicholas is a great kid, excellent 8th grader, and thinks he may want to be an orthodontist or a chef. Hmmm, I'm sure he will change his mind a few more times. 

Liam walked in the door, took one look at Grandpa, sat down on the floor, and refused to move. Then Paw-Paw got his dinosaur, and as you can tell, they were good buddies.

                                                    PUPPY LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!
Liam marched right up to the cat, and said, "Hi, kitty cat." The cat is so tolerant of him.

 

My first grandbaby, Liam's mommy, and my first great-grandbaby. Gee, I'm getting old.

I am so blessed.

 

Publication Opportunity

Here in Missouri, the trees are decked out in their finest. It is the last week of October and we are finally feeling fall temperatures. It will be in the 60s this week instead of  the mid 80s.

We drove to the country about 45 minutes away to visit granddaughter, Ashley and family. As we turned down her road we were taken aback by two of the most beautifully shaped fall trees in all their splendor. We were so enamored with them, we passed her house, had to turn around and backtrack. We laughed at ourselves when we realized these trees are on their front lawn.

Dusk was falling, so the hillside was not illuminated and does not look as colorful in this photo as it did earlier when we came upon the lake with a lone cow, its movements a fluid reflection.

We headed home into the sunset, after a delicious meal and delightful family time.

As we pulled into our driveway, I was in awe as the colors blended and swirled. I am very thankful for my eyesight. It truly is nature's gifts which make me happiest. And although I dread winter, autumn makes me feel so at peace and grateful for my many blessings.

 

At this time of year, my usual restlessness gives way to slowing: my respirations, my urge to go-go-go. I cocoon under kitty-soft fleece, snug in the heart of our comfortable home. Iced drinks are replaced by mugs of warm beverages. The front door is open, and through the glass storm door I watch the dance of birds, flutter of leaves, scampering of chipmunks and tag-playing squirrels. Across the road, a hawk soars into the farmers' fallow fields seeking a meal. I feel the need to spread fertilizer on paper and perhaps grow a poem. Maybe you will want to also. Be sure to add a SASE.

Ideals Publications 
2630 Elm Hill Poke, Suite 100
Nashville, TN 37214

 

Who's trickin' and who's treatin' ?

We are invited to an after Halloween costume party. Still debating what we will wear. But these are my favorites. Halloween used to be my favorite fun holiday. We used to win costume contests. Lately we are more into what the grandkids will be wearing. I'm thinking it's our time to howl again.

 

 

Do you have big plans this Halloween? Will you be tricking OR treating? We have never had a trick-or treater in 20 years, because we live on a main street. Do you have lots of visitors?

Who's the predator now?

My hubby, the hard of hearing wonderful man who is always tinkering, sometimes spends an afternoon watching loud, banshee screaming Netflix movies. Lately he's been hooked on ZOO (I think) where the animals turn on humans.

You can't convince me that people aren't affected by what they view. He had a near escape and then told me about what happened yesterday.

After viewing an entire reverse food chain series, he turned off the TV and headed to the back yard to do something in the shed. As he exited the shed and walked into the yard, he froze in his tracks. He saw both of the wild critters on the patio. They stopped in their tracks, too. They glared at him, then they gave each other a signal to attack, and both of them charged at him. Fearing the worst, he FROZE as they split up. One went to his left and the other to his right. He didn't know which way to look.

Those fat chipmunks have been camping out or preparing their winter home under the shed for a week now. When I sit on the patio to read, they zip by me, hang by their legs over a ledge and look me up and down, then jump in the sedum flowers and tear off across the yard. One goes to the right, and one to the left. ALWAYS. I'm pretty sure they're strategy is to avoid a hungry hawk nearby.

Can you imagine what they thought about the 6' 2" predator standing in their way? I know what he thought about those two cuties! And I have been laughing ever since.