Thursday, January 5, 2012

brilliant flashes

I have been seeing flashes of light in my left eye since New Year's Eve. Had my eyes dialated this afternoon. No retina detachment, no tear, no holes, etc. Thank God.

So, you know when icebergs calve? Well that's what is happening inside my eye. A floater is breaking loose and may end up in my line of vision, although it kept escaping the eye doctor. When I looked left, it darted right. I've always been a bit rebellious.

In four weeks I should be good as new. Well, let's get real here. She asked me to read the eye chart before she dialated my eyes.

"That's about 20/40. You want to pass the driver's test? You better get in here for a thorough exam next month."

Also regarding yesterday's appointment fiasco, the first receptionist told the second receptionist a thing or two and called me back to confirm that I'm on for my bone density screening. Finally.

So hubby took me to lunch with my big black plastic eye sheilds. I looked like Darth Vader. Doc said, "You might feel like you're at a 1960s concert for a while, but it should wear off soon."

I was (am) a little loopy, but I thought my eyes and ears were playing tricks on me.

Two young women late teens early twenties, who shouldn't have "calved", but did, sat across from us. One wore a shirt with a slogan: I Get All My Meanness From My Mama.

Oh the converastion! Allow me.

"Whewy, look at my belly. I am so full. Don't I look like I'm conceiving right here, right now?"

"Yes, you sure do!"

"My husband proposed to me right here. He always did have a big belly, but when he finished eating here that night, his belly was up against this table and he didn't know what to do. Just like me now."

I wanted to interject, "Scoot back, it's a chair not a booth."

It's not eavesdropping when they talk megaphone-loud.

"Girl! If your preschooler went to that school where that old man molested those four year olds, you better take him to the hospital right away. The doctors can tell you if he been molested. They can tell if that man made him touch his old thing. Don't believe the school. Believe the doctors. They have ways of telling."

"I think they ought to get a concrete casket for that teacher's aide old man and put him under it and lower him into the ground." (visual - under it, and lower him?)

"I am so full, but I think I'm going to get me a carry out from the food buffet, it's only $7.95."

"Hey girl, what did you get?"

She flips the carry out container lid, and even Batgirl here could see it. She paid $7.95 for a pound of plain WHITE rice.

Calving folks, passing on the genetic make-up. Scary.

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