Tuesday, March 14, 2017

His nurse got a handful

My big guy went to the cardiologist for a stress test. He has always had a large heart, not enlarged, and so his resting pulse is about 50 or less, and he has to work hard to get his heart rate up.

He was on the tread mill doing fine, when the technician elevated it a little, then a little more, and before he knew it, my honey felt like he was climbing to the top of a mountain.

Sort of like when we were in our 40's hiking in Colorado to the top of St. Mary's to see the glacier. He'd warned me about the wild boars. We remained vigilant and on high alert. I had a lot of stamina when I was young and thin. I was ahead of him when I was attacked. I screamed, turned to run, watched him reverse course and trip over a fallen log, scramble to get back up and regain his footing. He shouted, "What?! What is it? A wild boar? What did you see?!"

Huffing and puffing, I barreled to the trail head, and stopped. My honey arrived and breathlessly wanted to know what was chasing me.

Bent over, hands on my knees, I panted, "A big insect, big as a saucer flew right at my head!" My eyes were as wide as saucers.

His eyes narrowed.

Through clenched teeth he gasped, "You mean it was NOT a wild boar?!"

"It was humongous," I cried.

I have never lived that down.

Yesterday he had an equivalent experience where he found it hard to catch his breath.

The female technician said he had less than five minutes more to walk on the treadmill, and asked if he was feeling any chest pain.

"No ma'am, but I think my legs are going to give out before my heart. I can hardly finish this."

She cheered him on. "Only three more minutes."

He shook his head, ready to give up. She shouted for the nurse who shouted to him, "Hold on, you only need less than two minutes. I can help you out here."

She came up behind him and grabbed the back of his jogging pants, got a handful of the top of his Fruit of the Looms and gave him a wedgie like he'd never had in his life, not even from his brothers when they were kids.

"I ran like hell on that treadmill trying to get away."

Results pending. If he has to go back for follow up, he says he is not letting the nurse near him.


Kim said...

Ha! I may use that maneuver to motivate the males in the family!

K9friend said...

Wow! Now that's motivation.


Bookie said...

What a strange medical treatment!!!

Val said...

What if she didn't even work there? What if she was just a weirdo off the street who has a wedgie fetish? That might get his heart pumping.

Sioux Roslawski said...

Linda--Tell him next time, it'll be an Atomic Wedgie, where his underwear is pulled up so far, the elastic is pulled up over his head.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

That would have been a good You Tube video!

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Haha! That's one smart nurse. ;)

Lynn said...

That's hilarious!

Connie said...

Haha! I would have screamed and run from the insect too. As for the nurse, it sounds like she was very convincing.