Wednesday, June 10, 2009


Driving to school yesterday with a lot on my mind, I turned on the radio. Immediately a voice from the past had such a calming effect on me.

A voice can either curl my toes or ply the wax right out of my ear canal. I drive to work each morning with young-Elvis crooning me tunes. His voice makes my back go slack, my blood pressure drop a full ten points, and my mind wander back to my bell bottom days when I first saw him on the big screen...slobbering all over Ann Margaret. It didn't bother me at all when he married Priscilla, but those passionate kisses with the breathy red head...God I wanted to punch her! Oh, but did I say, 'curl my toes'? Elvis' voice does the trick.

Now Rod Stewart, that little pip squeak, I wish I'd never seen his face. But his raspy, gravelly voice, bless my toes!

My husband had a deep, sexy telephone voice when I first met him. I used to call him nightly to hear him purr to me in that baritone, "Hi, I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number ..."

Another appealing voice was that of Ossie Davis, an older black actor on the 80's sitcom, Evening Shade, starring Burt Reynold's, whose voice, by the way, did nothing for me. Ossie's voice was molasses-thick, like a deep penetrating, soothing massage.

Now, Billy Mays, his voice makes me want to slam his head into the john, BAM! when he bellows how a particular product removes crud and rust stains from bathtubs.

Wimpy actors and their stand-by-your-man actress-wives hawking male enhancement products in their soft spoken voices entice me... to mute the TV!

Ray Vinson caterwauls on the radio in a twangy falsetto voice, "Call "X" Mortgage Company at 999-99-99. No wonder his old lady walked out; that's his normal voice.

And OUCH! that woman who barks on local St. Louis TV commercials, "Tell 'em Barkley sent ya." A dog!!!

Whiny kid voices can peel my nail polish, and a whiny adult voice forces me to restrain my hands so I don't reach up and choke the person. If I ever get close enough to Sarah Palin, I may turn loose of my fingers. (joking)

The best voice I've heard lately is my grandbaby who shouts, "Nana!" when she sees me. Oh, and my honey's voice still does it for me. Call the house sometime; maybe his voice will curl your toes too. Second thought, now that we're married, MY voice is on the recorder.

No comments: