Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Hollywood Debut

I am not going to admit to anything, but I'm not going to deny it, because I realize those bubble cameras capture images in the public areas, but not the public restrooms. It may have been me, or it may have been my Hollywood stunt double (in case they rewind the film for viewing.)

It had been a long time since we'd been to Harrah's Casino, way out yonder, almost at the shrinking, river's edge. But when we received notice that along with a name change to Hollywood Casino, they were offering an evening buffet for $7.77 on Monday, we decided to take twenty recreational bucks a piece and take advantage of Hollywood before Hollywood took advantage of us.

"Better leave early," he-who-lies-about-how-much-he-spends said, exercising his pointer finger which depresses the thirty cent buttons on the so-called penny machines.

I was all for waiting another hour before leaving, because I knew after fifteen minutes, my twenty would be history and where to sit and wait would be a mystery. As it turned out, I sat at one machine for an hour and tripled my twenty, and you-know-who had his chin on his chest and his mouth salivating for dinner when he found me.

At 4:00 the buffet line started swelling like my bladder. The bathroom was waaaay down the hall and I knew I could hold it until we got upstairs to the restaurant/bathroom.

So, we joined the throng, and oh my, there are some colorful characters who wait in line for an hour for food. The babe in front of us had bleach blonde long hair, and she wore a fake fur coat, knee high boots and a thigh-high dress. I could hear her conversation as she spoke to the young man in front of her.

"I earn more out here in the hall than inside the casino." I leaned in to listen. "My husband also won a thousand out here playing the life-size Monopoly game. And my name was chosen as a winner of a thousand another time. Oh! Here he comes now."

This cute strut-his-stuff cowboy about thirty years old, walked towards us with his father. The old dude slipped under the velvet rope and snuggled up to the other $1,000 winner. The dude kept walking. When the $1,000 couple decided to sit down on a bench to the right of us, rather than stand for another twenty-five minutes, I nearly swallowed my tongue. This babe, with bright red painted Mick Jagger-like lips (Carol Channing for the older readers) was no babe. She was at least seventy. And when she sat down, she exposed a little more thigh than is needed for the younger guys' eyes. She was the talk of the line...until I had to go to the bathroom.

I KNOW absolutely for a fact that the ladies john has always been on the left side, and the mens room to the right. I clomped right in and wondered why there was a man standing at a URINAL???  Thank God he had his back to me. He cast a wary eye over his shoulder and I bolted back down that long hall, head down, to the food line and shifted foot-to-foot. Exercising, that's what I was doing. Yeah, exercising. Worked up a little blush/flush.

Now that I think about it, maybe it's Lumiere Casino where the ladies room is on the left and the mens room on the right. Oh gee whiz!

14 comments:

Susan said...

ha ha ha ha ha Oh Linda. I would love to have seen hour face with that fellow glanced over his shoulder.

And the blonde bombshell Grammie? Woo hoo. Now you know what to wear in a few years. ha ha hahha

Thanks for the morning chuckle. Susan

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I have gone into a men's room accidentally ....... luckily it was a small one and the door locked. I saw the urinal, but I was in distress and knew my bladder would not wait to find the ladies room. I made use of the urinal!!! I had to hover, but it is doable!

Alice said...

Cute story! I've made the same mistake more than once. And okay, so there was the time it was intentional (a few tall beers and a long line hath no pride).

thisisme said...

Another funny story for us today!I have gone into the gents a couple of times by mistake. That older lady in the queue sounded a bit frightening!

Daisy said...

Ooops! Wrong turn. haha! That's an easy mistake to make. Sounds like there was some interesting people watching going on in the line for the buffet too!

Sioux said...

I have gone into the men's room several times. Most of the time I am aghast, wondering why in the world there is a man in the women's restroom, until I spy the urinals, and then I hightail it out of there.

K9friend said...

Tee-hee! Hope the food was great!

Pat
Critter Alley

Val said...

I refuse to divulge my tales of public urination.

Sounds like that babe had another way of "earning" money in the hall, that is NOT gambling. Yet still a vice.

Mary Horner said...

You've met some interesting people lately! Thanks for sharing!

Kim said...

I think almost every woman has made the turn into the wrong bathroom once...but ya know, I've NEVER seen a man come in the ladies' room. Guess the stall doors keep us from seeing their shocked faces.

And why don't I run into such colorful characters?

jabblog said...

A memorable evening out - and it seems your bladder is stronger than you thought;-)

Susan Sundwall said...

But you didn't say whether he had a cute . . . but, then again that wouldn't be ladylike, would it?

Debora said...

Well Linda, if you can't beat em', join 'em! Several years ago hubby and I went to Vegas. I snuck a wig and a short little dress into my suitcase. When we got there I excused myself to the bathroom, donned my outfit, and went out on the town as hubby's new red-headed bombshell. It was really fun seeing heads turn! I stayed in character all weekend! Maybe you outta get yourself a wig and leather mini-skirt...

Beth M. Wood said...

I have been known to use the men's room when the ladies' line is too damn long. Last winter, I ran down the long hall to the locker room/bathroom at my gym before boot camp. Swung up the door, ran in... just as a completely naked man swung (pun intended) around in front of a locker to face me, boxer shorts in his hand. The first time I've been red faced BEFORE class started!
Way to go on tripling your $20, by the way!