Thursday, January 24, 2013

Childhood can be so confusing

These are my babies, Jason, 39, and Tracey, 42. Hubby hates posed pictures; he prefers candid shots, but each Christmas I insist. We're really not snooty. Those noses are up in the air in an effort to hide double chins, and we were holding our breath trying to suck in our guts.

Gazing into the faces of my adult children in this picture takes me back to their early childhoods. I loved being a mommy. Jason had enough energy for a small army, and Tracey had a mouth that would outlast the Energizer Bunny, but they brought such joy to my life. That's not to say there weren't battles.

So often (like most adults) I reasoned on an adult level instead of simpling acknowledging their desires and feelings. I sent mixed messages, said one thing and did another which confused them. It is difficult to be consistent with daily routines and discipline. Discipline is not synonymous with punishment; discipline should be helpful and not harmful. Sometimes the consequences of a child's actions is the best teaching tool. I could go on and on about the things I have learned over the years that I know now and wish I had been able to apply then.

This evening at the grocery store I watched a sweet, calm little boy about four years old standing alongside his mom's grocery cart. His face lit up when she opened the ice cream freezer and peered inside. He said, "Oh boy! Are we getting ice cream?"

She closed the freezer door and said, "No, not today."

He walked ahead of her and I heard what he muttered: "There's another reason why I'm always confused."

I had to laugh. Not many preschoolers could sum it up so succinctly.


Sioux Roslawski said...

That IS confusing. Why in the heck was that mom looking in the freezer, if she knew she wasn't planning on buying any ice cream?

I see you in your son's face, Linda, and I see your "spice" (AKA smart-a**-yness) in your daughter's facial expression. But I may be way off base.

Two nice looking "kids."

Pat Wahler said...

Raising children is a job filled with a mixture of fun, worry, and love. I enjoy seeing other people's little ones, but I really love this much more mellow and relaxed time of having adult children. I'm so proud to see what wonderful human beings they've turned out to be.

Your kids (and you) look great!

Kim Lehnhoff said...

Smart little kid there. And you and your children look wonderful. Do you ever find yourself wondering how they got so old while you yourself are still so young?

That's the delusion I was nursing yesterday when I commented to The Mister that my daughter Shannon will be 37 this year.

Debra Mayhew said...

I loved seeing a pic of you and your kids! And that little boy's ice cream comment made me laugh out loud - life's confusing no matter what age you are!!

Susan said...

Hi Linda....Nice photo of you and your daughter and son. They both favor you.

Felt sad for the little boy. Now why couldn't that mother buy him a little ice cream? Cheeze. Life is so doggone short. Plus, as you now know, she's going to have him for such a short time.

Take care. Susan

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

Hi Linda,

Mom was probably longing for ice cream too, but resisted the temptation.

Nice picture of you and your cubs.

Susan :)

Connie said...

I like the family photo. I'm the one always wanting pictures taken in my family too while my husband doesn't care so much about it. I can think of things I did as a young mother that I'd do differently if I had a chance to do them over, but of course, hind sight is like that. Hope you have a nice weekend!

Donna Volkenannt said...

Aww. Cute photo, and I love the quote from the four-year-old boy.

Mevely317 said...

Great pix, Linda! ... I'm going to have to practice that "chin up, stomach in" look next time!
Your mention of the little boy in the grocery store? What a fun reminder to pay attention to that going happening around me!

Val said...

I dislike posing for pictures. But if there's one thing I would change from when my kids were little...I'd pose for more pictures.

Nice shot of you and your young 'uns.

Debora said...

Don't you wish you could go back and parent all over? The wisdom of years is so valuable, but where was it back then? Guess that's why we get a second shot as grannies! I'm guessing mama overcame a moment of temptation and opted to try to eat healthy. But geesh, let the little guy know what's going on! They understand a lot more than we give them credit for if we just give them the information they need.

Merlesworld said...

I was always happy to buy my kids ice cream as long as I could have some too, life should not be confusing at least not when you are a kid.
Often posed pictures look a bit stiff but the older we get the better they look.

Tammy said...

Speaking of summing up succinctly: "I could go on and on about the things I have learned over the years that I know now and wish I had been able to apply then." Amen,sister.

jabblog said...

I think most of us learn on the job when there's no time to stop and think things through but somehow our children grow into wonderful adults - maybe in spite of us:-)

Beth M. Wood said...

Great picture!

Oh, how I wish I'd known then what I know now...!? I'm sure it's a common thought among parents. I was so much more stressed with my first baby, then with my third. And I'm so much more patient now then I was in my twenties and early thirties. If I were offering advice to young married couples, I'd say wait a bit before having kids... you may have more energy at 25 (although that depends on the lifestyle you choose), but patience, understanding, compassion and wisdom are far better skills and in the long run will be so much more valuable to little ones than just the ability to run around without getting winded!
Hindsight is always 20/20, though, isn't it? Looking at your "babies" I think you probably did a great job!

Anonymous said...

Ha! He's not completely confused!