Thursday, December 30, 2010

Year End Musings and Meanderings

I attended a family gathering with my aunts, uncle and cousins yesterday. One of my cousins had me laughing so hard, my sides still hurt today. She said that years ago she worked at a large corporation. It is so big that they have a bus to shuttle the employees from their cars to the door. She walked into the office one morning and everyone was gathered around the television with concerned looks on their faces. She asked, "What's wrong?"

A supervisor replied, "The shuttle blew up."

She shouted, "Oh my God, I just got off of it!"

They all turned simultaneously and looked at her like she was a space cadet. I laugh, because that could have been me. I am forever inserting foot in mouth.

She said, "As soon as I realized they meant the Space Shuttle, I chuckled and said, 'Well there goes any hope I ever had of a promotion.'" Sometimes all you can do is laugh at yourself.

As this year winds down, there are some things I ponder. I get annoyed with Reality TV. There are harsh realities across the globe that deserve our attention. I want to shout at the boob tube, "So, you think you can dance? Write? Tell a joke? Run for political office? Find the man or woman of your dreams, one who will tolerate your screams? You think you can affiliate with freaks and not have a bit of their stink rub off on you?"

Life can be such a mystery. I know that in order to make it in this world, you must believe in yourself, but some people are totally delusional. I am not implying any of the following are delusional. Just making some observations and expressing my personal opinion.

I have a friend who worked really hard to earn a Masters Degree in Psychology, then, she took a job as a master gardener. I wonder if she coaxes the greens out of the ground with gobbly de gook? “Oh pretty blossom, do you feel like unfolding today? Did that bee sit on your stamen wrong? Poke your pistil too hard?” PUHLEASE! The woman is a shingle away from being a shrink, sitting comfortably on a plush couch. Instead, she’s out there squatting all day, dabbling in the other kind of dirt.

Our adult kids cried poor mouth all year, and then at Christmas our young grandchildren came over with their heads down and their fingers and thumbs flying on electronic hand held devices. I Tunes, I Pad, I Pod, I Touch ... I DON’T KNOW the difference and I don’t CARE. What I do know is that I cannot afford a $250 poke it, scroll it, play it, sing along with it gadget. I can barely text and figure out a cell phone. By the way, what ever happened to hand held transistor radios? Paying to hear music? Mindboggling to me.

Those screaming mimis on reality shows, dance shows, and political talk shows make me crazy. I can’t bear to see or hear a particular presidential hopeful shoot off her mouth or her gun. I don’t care if her daughter or anyone else can or can’t dance. I don’t care which stick thin woman is the next top model or which crazed chef makes the cook cry. I think most politicians are liars, not leaders and most Americans are followers not independent thinkers. I don't give a hoot whose hooting about what Oprah is giving away to guests. I think Judge Judy lets her mouth overrule her rulings, and I think Judge Joe Brown should be in every school telling it like it is.

Whew! I am out of breath, but here are a few final thoughts on what I really think: My weight has increased, my memory is shot, my publications are fewer and my husband’s still hot. The weather is crazy, the world’s in a mess, Happy New Year to you all, and may you all be blessed. This post (but not the poem)was written tongue-in-cheek)


Sioux Roslawski said...

Nice little poem at the end...

Now Linda, don't be shy. You should not be afraid of expressing your opinion. What do you REALLY think? (ha)

I agree. Our country is full of whiners, there's too many followers and not enough independent thinkers, and our "problems" are inconsequential compared to what people have to survive in other countries.

Perhaps when we celebrate the end of 2010, we should be extra grateful for all we have and all we've been able to accomplish in the past 12 months...and promise to TRY and make the world a better place in some way...

Cathy C. Hall said...

Um, I'm not quite sure how to tell you this, Linda...but I kinda think I CAN dance. ;-)

Ah, well. Sometimes a good rant works wonders-but honestly, girl, you have more publications than Mr. Chicken Soup (whatever his name is). Now step away from the TV and take a walk with that hot husband of yours. And have yourself a publication-aplenty 2011!

Linda O'Connell said...

Hi Sioux,
I actually wrote this for open mike. But I thought, as long as I was ranting, and some people chuckled, I might as well go viral. Ha, or at least let my five regular blog friends read my editorial opinion. I am very grateful, not hateful. Hope I didn't give you the wrong impression.

Linda O'Connell said...

Hi Cathy,

Guess it's time for me to go back to work. TV has warped me.

Speaking of dancing, I'm going boogying tomorrow night.

Thanks for always making me smile!

BECKY said...

I loved the funny line about the shuttle, although the "real" shuttle incident was so terribly sad, I would've been like your cousin, too, and thought they were talking about the work shuttle! Other than that, I also like to rant and rave about the stupid things on TV...but you know what they say...just change the channel! Have fun boogying! Oh, and Cathy C., I THINK that I can SING! :D

Chatty Crone said...

Love the last paragraph so much - and everything is alright!

Linda O'Connell said...

Hi Becky,
Thanks for stopping by. Yeah, it was good to rant, but for me, once it's out, it's over.

Linda O'Connell said...

Hi Sandie,
Hope you're doing better. Thanks for your comment. I wasn't really upset, just making observations, and it was actaully written for an open Mike roast.

Sioux Roslawski said...

Linda--You must be a nicer person than me, because if I wrote something like that, it probably would have been more serious than humorous.

(Your hubby is tall, unless in reality you are an elf, and just LOOK tall in photos.)

Have a great evening tomorrow.

Linda O'Connell said...

I am 5'4" and my hubby is 6'2". We are both too plump and we plan to do something about it, starting tomorrow, because I am going to eat that final oatmeal cookie for breakfast with a cup of coffee:)

Allison Schreiber Lee said...

I laughed out loud about the shuttle! I can totally relate! Thank you for putting a smile on my face today and with all of your blogs. I am grateful for you and your words of wisdom and your acceptance and grace.
Happy New Year!

Tammy said...

Omg, your whole family must be a hoot! Happy 2011!!!

Lynn said...

Hi Linda,
Glad I was able to read this again - as you always miss something at open mic.

Kathleen said...

Tongue in cheek or not - I agree with most everything you said! I just do not know what the attraction is with reality tv and don't know why so many people watch it. What I really want to say though is, Happy New Year to you! Kathleen.